Merry Christmas to all!

Well, here's wishing a very Merry Christmas to everyone out there, while it still is Christmas. It's been a unique and yet uneventful day, starting with an awakening from a bizzare dream. From there, rolled out of bed and plugged into the TV to do some much needed gaming, since I haven't played in a long time (why didn't I open presents, you ask? - because my dad is currently in Korea and is on his way back tommorow. So we'll celebrate when he gets back tommorow) Needless to say, tensions were high with arguments between my sister and I, and it spread. After some gaming, and trying to explain my side of the story of the argument I was having with my sister to my mother (quite unsuccessfully) Also probably the first time I actually told my mother that I feel like my sister's doormat - that was fun. Then to finishing some Christmas presents for my friends, and hunting for more online. As the evening came, I suppose the Christmas spirit came over the house, and my sister and I (for some reason not arguing currently o_O) decided to put up the Christmas tree, and spent some time reminiscing over ornaments made from elementary school on. And after topping the tree with the star, we sat down for dinner where my mom told us some stories of our childhood days, about how crazy and psycho of a little kid I was (apparently I was a ball of energy) and how my sister was a little brat from childhood =P. But probably the most interesting was the tales my mom told of my dad, and how he spoiled us when we were kids, how he was always the lenient one who couldn't enforce things, and always got us what we wanted. Really was cool, made me actually miss him again. I'm really really hoping that my sister and him don't go at it for anything when he comes back, because he's so happy when he sees his whole family together, but the second something goes wrong and my sister (or occassionally me) throws a fit about something, the whole look on his and my mother's face drops... and I really hate seeing that. I've been trying to get better at it, but this whole "doormat" to my sister thing drives me nuts, and I can't help but complain. Anyways, now I'm ranting. So now I sit in my living room, relaxing (the work I need to do I can't, because I need a camera, printer, power supply and motherboard, all of which I don't have) and looking at the tree and watching TV. Nice to finally kick back occassionally.

Merry Christmas everyone ^_^

When I close my eyes, I see...

Random scenes from a truly bizzare dream I had last night... I honestly don't remember much of it, and have thus spent a good portion of the day trying to remember what it was (for anyone who doesn't know, I never remember my dreams). For some reason, all I remember was that I was living in some apartment (nothing like the one I have now), and in a completely different place. And I think there was something to do with... some sort of animal in the complex? And some other people in the complex (the entire dream, to my recollection, never strayed from the porch (not ground floor) outside of the door of my apartment, and at one point looking in to see Mike crashed on some sort of couch. And I think there was something to do with strange faces... I know at some point someone removed a part (nose? lips?) of their face, very Mr. Potatohead-esque. Yeah... it was strange. I woke up... looked around to try and comprehend my bizzare head... and decided not to write it down, so I've been picking through it in my head all day to no avail.

When I stop listening, I hear...

"These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase,

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream I’d fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
but you still… have… all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
but though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along,

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream I’d fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
but you still… have… all of me oh..., me oh..., me oh... "



My computer is toast - don't be surprised if I'm not online much anymore.... *sigh*


Just listen...

Take a break. Download Evanescence - My Immortal. It's a song that you can close your eyes and let your heartbeat slow down to. So soft... so calm... so soothing...

Evanescence - My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me



Alright, so while aimlessly wandering the net, I came across the vast array of articles about the second iteration of the Korean Bowlingual, the Meowlingual, which I found to be fairly entertaining. I am definately curious as to what kinds of things this device "translates" as well as how accurate. (Kim and Jennings would have a hay-day with this thing =P) Anyways, I found a fun spoof that I felt I should share: (I could definately see some cats thinking this... =P)


Alright, I am SICK of people lecturing the crap out of me about where I need to go to grad school, or my reasons for going, or reasons for going different places, or reasons for going at all, and how it's something I'll regret 10 years from now, or it's a terrible thing, or ANYTHING!!! STOP IT!!! For all you people who are bothering the crap out of me about this, LISTEN:


Mood: frustrated >:-O


A-ha! Moment!

Alright, so I'm wandering to my CS378 class this morning, (about 10 minutes ago) only to see a sign on the door that class is cancelled! o_O Very strange indeed, and I really wish I knew earlier, I would have slept in -_- Anyways, as I was leaving, I saw another guy from my class leaving, Max, so I told him class was cancelled, and was about to go on my way. He stopped me and had a question for me... yeah, it turns out he was one of my orientees my first semester - so I ended up talking to him for about half an hour, and it turns out we had a bunch of the same classes together and were both interested in game development... strange little world we live in, huh? Pretty amazing that he actually remembered who I was three years later... I KNEW I recognized him from SOMEwhere! =P


Five things

Five details about your appearance right now.
[x] Black Pajamas
[x] Glasses
[x] Circles under my eyes
[x] Hair in a ponytail
[x] Clean shavn

Five things you did today.
[x] Woke up
[x] Reset my alarm
[x] Snubbed the book I should be reading
[x] Caught up on my daily websites
[x] Listened to some music

Five things that everyone should know about you.
[x] I love my friends
[x] I thoroughly enjoy music
[x] I hope to create video games
[x] I hope I can be there if you need help
[x] I'm a little nuts sometims =P

Five groups/artists you listened to yesterday.
[x] Madrigal Choir
[x] Vertical Horizon
[x] Two Guy Trio
[x] Trapt
[x] Puddle Of Mudd

Five things that make you happy.
[x] Love
[x] Friends
[x] Succeeding at something
[x] Music
[x] Dreams

Five things that disgust you.
[x] Hypocrits
[x] Closed minded people
[x] Drugs
[x] People who don't live up to their responsibility
[x] People not living up to their potential

Five things you can't live without.
[x] My friends
[x] My family
[x] Music
[x] My passion
[x] Time

Five things you'll do when you complete this.
[x] Stop playing around on my computer
[x] Turn off the music
[x] Get something to drink
[x] Read for the essay due tommorow
[x] Write my essay

Five things you feel right now.
[x] Exhausted
[x] Loved
[x] Weak
[x] Disappointed
[x] Afraid

Well, I got to take a nice break from all the work and projects that are being done this weekend for the annual tradition of Madrigal Dinner here at UT. I was an understudy in the Madrigal Show back in 2001 - but not like a normal understudy - the understudies had parts, as we roamed the tables (there actually is a 4 course dinner, along with the show) and entertain the guests in the breaks, fully in costume and character. It really was a good time, and I met some pretty cool people.

Anyways, I got to get all dressed up and go with Kim this year. We finally got there around six, at which point I was trying to make sure I could get in because Kim (who trudged through the snow, uphill both ways to get the tickets =P) forgot to tell me I needed my student ID. Turned out to be ok, since there were many Madrigalians that remembered me. I had some friends (both from Madrigal prior and from the Orientaton Advisors) in the show this year, so it was cool to see them directing / acting / entertaining throughout the show. Good job Jamieson, Kevin, Meredith, Michael, Justin, Michael!... etc, etc. etc. So we listened to the wonderful choir directed by Jamieson, already I was mouthing along with all the songs, spotting people who I remembered in the choir and crowd, including Marta, who was filming from the balcony.

So after the singing in the lounge area, we went in, and got to our seats and the show started, with various people wandering the tables, all the people I knew dropping by to say hi. And the first interesting thing happens... Jamieson comes over with two other guys and singles out Kim and sings a song to embarass her in the first break - quite entertaining =P In the second break... a group of wenches and footmen come up to me, (some of which I knew from before) one screaming "Did you?" ... I, of course, knew what was going to happen, so I play along. About a minute later, I'm in the stocks in the back of the auditorium because I allegedly gave the kingdom's lactose intolerant dragon, Bubbles, a big hunk of cheese... (don't worry, there's a picture) and I find myself having to convince the three wenches around me for kisses (of which they demand a dance, joke, and compliment to free me) and they retaliate with their three kisses - so I have three giant lipstick marks on my forehead and two cheeks... So the night continues, and after another break or two, I hear... "MISTLETOE!" after which a horde of wenches (about half to two-thirds of which I remembered from my previous Madrigal experience), like a gust of wind fly by and pelt me with kisses. So, at this point, pretty much every square inch of my face is covered in some form of lipstick or another... (also, picture to be posted) Finally, Kim gets Kevin to request a group to come over to sing the Moose song at our table... doesn't sound so bad, huh? Well, at our table, we had two kids, couldn't be older than 10 ish, and the Moose song (although DAMN funny) is all about "rammin' a moose"... "Moose, moose, I like a moose, I've never had anything quite like a moose..." I, of course, mouth along the words, as the singers snicker at me because I still remember it from a few years back =P And finally, the show begins its conclusion, as the choir, again led by the wonderful Jamieson sings a beautiful concert. And finally, we walk out of the auditorium, (after finding Kim's dropped earring - glad we found it!) to walk through the gautlet of all the Madrigal people, probably 40+ people, singing a Madrigal tradition, a version of deck the halls, put to "Daylight comin, I wanna go home", which is a lot of fun.

As I'm walking out through all the people in costumes just having fun, I realized I got a lot of genuine smiles and waves from many of those people (even some I didn't get to know that well) that I met my first year of Madrigal, a full two years back. It was just really cool to see that welcoming environment from all those people. It really reminded me of how much fun Madrigal was, both the semester up until the show, and the show itself. So, as I walked back to my apartment today, covered in lipstick and in a better mood after a crushing two days of work, I decided that if I am here next fall, I am DEFINATELY going to audition for Madrigal again, either in choir or actors. Anyways, it was a fun night, and I really needed a break from all the work that has to be done this weekend. I'll post embarassing pictures of me soon =P



Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a
good communicator. Incredibably loving and
loyal when your trust is gained and you are
fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is
in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river
but nobody truly knows you.

What's your element
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Loud Drunk.
You end up losing all inhibitions and scream out
song lyrics, animal noises, or obscenities...
usually from on top of a table or counter.

What Kind of Drunk are You?
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Close your eyes and listen...

Yay! Added a music section to the links on the left of some of the bands that have music that I really 'listen' to ^_^



"If you don't want to crunch, don't get into the games industry. Working on Galaxies, there were weeks where I clocked in 60, 80, 100 hours... there isn't much more than 100 hours in a week."

Lead programmer of Star Wars Galaxies


Email from mom

I'm back home...you may have read this before...take a moment and read it anyway...it is really nice,
..lots of love, Mom

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life." "No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.
Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin.
The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

Work like you don't need the money.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Dance like nobody's watching.

Sing like nobody's listening.

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

It's National Friendship Week. Send this to
everyone you consider A FRIEND.

Pass this on, and brighten someone's day.

AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH: You had better send
this back!! Good Luck!

I hope it works...
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
OK, this is what you have to do... Send this to
all of your friends.

Thanks, Mom ^_^

Alright, so I went to NSS and chatted with Cristi, and at one point got my evaluations from last year, and although not perfect (I don't claim to be) the ones that were compliments really were kind and beautiful. To all the Orientation Advisors of 2003, 2002 and 2001, thanks... I miss you.
On a lighter note

On the lighter side, I got to take my annual trip to the Renfest with Zach and Kim last weekend, and that was loads of fun as usual ^_^ (nice break from the psychoness of school, etc.) I walked away with two leaf blades, a little blue orb, and another metal rose. Also, selection for the new OAs was this last weekend, and that was fun an depressing all over -_- Anyways, time to get ready for the rest of the week... o_O



Sweet Dreams
"Sweet Dreams" (by Eurythmics)
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Which 80's Song Fits You?
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Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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You are a Flea-bite Problem
You are a Flea-bite Problem.

What Kind of Problem Are You?
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What Matrix Character Are You?
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Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The

"When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my

The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love.

As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
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All-Hallow's Eve

I completely forgot to detail the fun that occured on Halloween, but I think Dev said it pretty well. ^_^


Happy Birthday to me! ^_^

Well, I turned 22 yesterday... I'm an old fogie now =P It's been a pretty rough past four weeks or so, so a day away from everything (mostly) was pretty nice. It was a wonderful birthday though, and I really want to thank everyone who called or IMed me, or emailed me, or just remembered. ^_^ So... thanks Kim, Neesha, Grandma, Mom, Dad, Jimmy, Rosie, Rebecca, Aurlie, Gunu Masi, Cristi, Asha Masi, Bavna, Grandma (on my dad's side), Sunil, Sandya, Sahil, Simrin, Jagdish, Sarla, Dilip (those last 9 were in one phone call!), Patrick, David, Joe, and Angela. Thanks for the warm wishes, guys, you made my day awesome. ^_^ And thanks to Joe, Mike, Pat, David, Weber and Gloria for keeping our costume adoring Halloween tradition alive. ^_^ Pat and I went craazy on the cameras, and I think we got some awesome pictures - hopefully I'll be posting those soon. ^_^

Thanks everyone!



Be brutally honest, I'm curious
Trick or Treat!

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
nozomiyume goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Dracula.
Sasoriza Tenshi tricks you! You get an empty bottle.
Devon gives you 4 teal mint-flavoured hard candies.
Leiahime gives you 12 light yellow cola-flavoured gummy bears.
Shirokenshi tricks you! You lose 11 pieces of candy!
Blitzenslayn tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy!
Vecnadeit tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
Boggboy gives you 1 purple coconut-flavoured gummy worms.
Artchic gives you 12 dark green tropical-flavoured gummy bats.
Guyinblack gives you 10 yellow grape-flavoured wafers.
Porchejoe gives you 12 light blue root beer-flavoured gumdrops.
nozomiyume ends up with 36 pieces of candy, and an empty bottle.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.



Out of context, I think this AIM from Mike is pretty funny =P

Boggboy: I'm a Goddess too. we rock.

But yes, Mike, we do, in fact, rock ^_^



Short thought - I worked my last selection session for the new Orientation Advisors for next summer yesterday, to whom I have spent the last three years working for, in one way or another. I gave the opener testimonial, about my experiences, and decided to take it in a different way, and somehow I actually managed to articulate many of my feelings to the hundred or so people staring at me - of which I was in the exact same room, three years ago. I ended on a note talking about how almost all the OAs agree with me that this is the best job they've ever had. And you know what? I didn't cry at follies at the end of my first year, I didn't cry at follies my second year, and I didn't even cry at follies my third year, but as I spoke the last few thoughts I had, my eyes finally began to tear up.



Okie doke

You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.

"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."

Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).
The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
Her sign is the dawn sun.

As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
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ARRARARHGHHGGHH!!!! SOMETIMES I JUST HATE THE WORLD!!! Everything in the world goes wrong... everything hurts... it's been one of those days that just makes you want to curl up into a ball and sleep for a week from... and I still have a hell of a lot of work to do.... GGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHGHGHGHHHH!!!!!!!!!! >:-O


Here's to the nights...

Alright, just got done with a long weekend of stuff, and kinda spent the evening at home. My good friend Nolan was in town from Westpoint, so we hung around the apartment for most of the evening and into the morning. It was some good times... it's a crazy world we live in, it's a good feeling to be able to just sit down until the early in the morning and talk with friends. Good to see and talk to you again Nolan. You're welcome anytime.


Survey thingie!

Current Mood: Tired / terrified of workload...
Current Music: Trapt - Made of Glass
Current taste: White Chocolate Mocha
Current hair: Dark brownish / black, pulled back tight into a ponytail
Current clothes: blue jeans / .mp3 committee shirt from the sumer
Current Annoyance: broken bottle of cologne / not well fishes =Current smell: I forget what the cologne is... but the bottle that just broke in my bathroom - that smell
Current hate: work =Last book you read: jeez... Sandman, I guess - a graphic novel, but reads like a book (confusing enough?)
Last movie you saw: Full movie - Lord of the Rings: Two Towers, partial move - Showtime
Last time you showered: around noon today, in Dallas

[Do you]
Smoke?: Nope
Do drugs?: Nuh uh
Have sex?: while filling out surveys? o_O
Have any gay/lesbian friends?: quite a few
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: absolutely
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: I think so
Consider love a mistake?: Nope
Like the taste of alcohol?: eh... most no, a few yes
Have a favorite candy?: not really...
Believe in god?: kinda, but not like many people do (to quote from Alison: "God, yes, a god... well...")
Have any pets?: 1 betta fish, Turle, and babysitting another, Kiseki, hopefully he can go to his home soon (a much nicer, big 10 gallon tank)
Do well in school?: depends on the day... =Go to or plan to go to college?: Am currently
Wear hats?: not often, but when my hair is buggin me (just need to find the right hat)
Have any piercings?: nope
Have any tattoos?: nuh uh
Hate yourself?: not very often
Have an obsession?: sometimes none, sometimes everything =P
Have a secret crush?: noope
Have a best friend?: a few
Care about looks?: not really what's important

[Love Life]
First crush?: uhmm... fourth grade? does one that early really count?
First kiss?: Summer after my senior year
Ever been in love?: yup
Do you believe in "the one"?: abso-frickin-lutely
Describe your ideal significant other: loves me, cares about me, understands me (that may be too much to ask, I don't understand myself =P), makes me and her happy

[Juicy stuff]
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: only when playing sports and sweating like crazy
Have you ever been intoxicated?: yeah, I guess
Favorite place to be kissed?: I really don't know... o_O
Have you ever been caught doing something?: doing what? my homework? eating? breathing?
Are you a tease?: how would I know?
Shy to make the first move?: yeah, I could say that

[Are you a:]
Wuss: I don't think so, for the most part
Druggy: I really doubt I could do this survey if I was on drugs... so no
Daydreamer: ohh yeah
Freak: depends on who you ask
Dork: yup, and proud of it!
Bitch/Asshole: I'm sure I have been at times
Brat: I don't think so... at least not often
Sarcastic: Me? Sarcastic? NOOO WAAAAYYYY!
Goody-goody: yeaah, can be
Angel: All depends on the person you ask
Devil: Yeah, depends on the person you ask
Shy: definately, at times
Talkative: only in the right situations
Adventurous: heh heh, I'd like to think so ^_^
Joker: yuuup, a lot of the time, I think
Flirty: nah, not really at all

[In the past month did/have you]
Made out: yup
Date: define 'date'?
Gone to the mall: yup
Eaten an entire box of oreos: I think I would die O_O
Eaten sushi: OF COURSE!
Been on stage: uhmm.... don't think so...
Been dumped: nope
Dumped anyone: noope
Gone skating: duude... not since I was a kid... wait... a few summers ago, rather
Made homemade cookies: nope.. but that's a god idea
Been in love: Yup
Gone skinny dipping: noope
Dyed your hair: no, but that sounds like fun =P (too much hair, though...)
Stolen anything: nope
Cried: I think so... maybe out of frustration at something or another


Why, why, why???

Why do I do this to myself? I finally have a night where I can get some sleep, and what do I do? I sit at my laptop for three hours programming a toggling target lock mechanism for the game that I'm making. Yes, it looks pretty damn cool and makes me happy... but now it's 3 am! And I need to get up at like 9 to go to a day full of classes... I shoulda just gone to sleep... damnit, damnit, damnit.... -_-
Hmm.... I wonder....

So I ran into a good old friend from my High School times today - I was in the CMA waiting for Kim to get out of her meeting, and I look up, and who's walking towards me but Maggie! She is an absolutely SPECTACULAR artist - it also turns out that she's been quite busy in the last few years. It turns out she read the Harry Potter books and started to get inspired to draw those characters... eventually she got to the point of drawing for some websites, and all the way to drawing pictures for Harry Potter merchandise! She's now a celebrity among the Harry Potter fans (she actually went to a Harry Potter convention where she sold pictures and signed many autographs... o_O) But yeah - also, turns out she isn't neccessarily looking 100% forward to Creative Advertising... turns out what she would REALLY like to do would be to be a Video Game Character Designer / Artist.... (!) (But she thinks that because of her degree, she can't - wrong! ^_^) This, of course, got me to thinking about the whole idea of starting a game company again... would it really be possible? It would definately be a dream come true... if I had the talent, time and drive, I would love to just make small games with a group of friends and become something like Naughty Dog... and to be able to have a group of people to work with and create something to the grandure of Jak II would really be a dream come true. I wonder... could I do it? Would it be possible? Is it worth all the effort to try? Perhaps these are questions left to be answered another day... I hope O:-)


Good times...

A quote from a conversation I had with a friend today:

I miss late night talks til 3 in the morning when we have to get up at 8...

As silly as that statement sounds, I really miss those too...


Then the cat...

Alright, so I had a LOT of stuff to do this weekend, and I only got a fraction of it done... and the part that I did get "done" I am very frustrated at... it just doesn't want to WORK! Damn computers..... >:-O That and, I told myself I would be in bed before midnight tonight to set the pace for the week... now a simple look at the time of this post will tell you that didn't work very well... -_- but, the moment of the weekend was just a few hours ago when I was helping Kim cut the nails of her cat, Jennings... I was holding him, and we got through his front paws, and onto his back, and on the last paw, I was holding him and his paw so she could trim the nails, and yes... THE CAT ATE MY FACE!... or tried to, at least. He lunged at my face and smacked into my lips with his teeth, so he didn't bite, and then ran off... needless to say, a cat flying AT YOUR FACE at like 100 miles an hour is an odd experience... o_O but that's cool, he came and fell asleep on me later in the evening... strange, strange cat... -_- Anyways... must survive through this week... must survive... -_-


I really should sleep...

I really need to get some sleep, especially since the next day or so (until noon on Friday) is gonna SUCK! O_O But I'm just so awake... I guess I've gotta take some quizzes... whee!

My inner child is sixteen years old today

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
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<<>>???What Kind Of Angel R You???<<>>( NEW!!! Anime Pics )

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The ULTIMATE personality test
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All-Round Gamer

(results contain pictures) What type of GAMER are you?
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I went to my cousin Paulie's wedding in Los Angeles this weekend (technically he's my uncle, but we call him cousin anyways). It was held on a very small boat off of the coast with close family of the bride and groom. The actual ceremony couldn't have been even ten full minutes. It was, however, one of the most beautiful and passionate things I have ever seen. This was a wedding that wasn't concerned at all about a huge grandiose ceremony with decorations everywhere, not concerned with everyone dressed in tuxes and gigantic dresses. This was truly a wedding of love. Its been a long time since I've really been inspired, but the passion that tranpsired through these two people was truly astounding, a huge part of this being Paul and Claudia's hands during the ceremony - gently holding each other, surrounded by family and friends who were there to witness a beautiful thing - the bonding of two people. It was really an experience, and you know, when Paul and Claudia addressed everyone at the end of the night saying that "They could honestly say, without being a blanket statement, that they loved each and every person that came, and were truly happy each person came," I really did believe them, because you could see it in their eyes, it was true. Still, even sitting here now, when I should be doing a thousand other things, I am astounded by the beaty and passion in that night, and can still feel it. I can see it in their hands, firm yet gentle, loose but trusting, these pictures simply don't do the moment justice.

It's been a long time since I've been inspired.

Paul, Claudia, I truly wish you both the best for your life together.

Thank you.


Woo hoo!

Woo hoo! I got my new latop! Sweeeet! It's nice and fast and HUGE! I wish I had time to format the sucker... but I need to use it this weekend, for count 'em - 3 projects due next week! AND, I'm not even going to be in town this weekend... I'll be in LA at a cousin's wedding... so my laptop will get pretty damn abused on its first weekend out, yay! ^_^



The Potion Maker
rfreebernium is a cloudy, soft tan solid distilled from the flesh of a gargoyle.
nozomiyumenium is an opaque, thin violet liquid drained from the brain of a vampire.
Mixing rfreebernium with nozomiyumenium causes a violent chemical reaction, producing a cloudy orange potion which gives the user the power of x-ray vision.
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

The Potion Maker
nozomiyumenium is an opaque, thin violet liquid drained from the brain of a vampire.
Mix with nozomiyume! Username:
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

Post what you got to my comments, I wanna see! ^_^



Well... this could make quite an impact on the gaming community, especially since the kids that did it specifically mentioned that they were mimicing the game.


Well look at that...


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla


Your first name of Vijay has given you a very practical, hard-working, systematic nature. Your interests are focused on technical, mechanical, and scientific things, to the exclusion of interests of an artistic, musical, or social nature. You have a rather skeptical outlook on life and rather materialistic standards. In reaching your goals, you are very independent and resourceful, patient and determined. You can be so very positive and definite in your own ideas and opinions that others sense a lack of tact and friendliness in your manner of expression. You are inclined to be rather demanding and self-centred in your personal wants, and your own desires can be so overriding that you fail to recognize or appreciate the feelings, opinions, or desires of others. As a consequence, difficulties in relations within the family or with close associates can arise



Yay! My comments are back up! ^_^ Much more to update later.


On crack.

Nozomi81: Have you ever heard of Turing?
Nozomi81: the person
Raging Aardvark: eh?
Nozomi81: Turing
Raging Aardvark: should i have?
Nozomi81: said to be one of the founders of computer science
Nozomi81: possibly not
Raging Aardvark: why?
Nozomi81: I was just curious - he was mentioned in one of my CS classes today
Nozomi81: he's actually mentioned in all of them at some point
Raging Aardvark: heh
Nozomi81: anyways - he worked on the second world war to decode the German cryptography that was being used in their submarines
Nozomi81: that were used to intercept american ships to britain
Nozomi81: and he essentially invented the concepts of computer science
Nozomi81: anyways - the interestin part I never knew
Nozomi81: he killed himself a few years after the war
Raging Aardvark: just for fun?
Raging Aardvark: out of boredom, perhaps?
Nozomi81: no
Nozomi81: that's the interesting part
Nozomi81: In 1952, Alan Turing was arrested for "gross indecency" after a burglary led to the discovery of his affair with Arnold Murray. Overt homosexuality was taboo in 1950's England, and Turing was forced to take estrogen "treatments" which rendered him impotent and caused him to grow breasts. On June 7, 1954, despondent over his situation, Turing committed suicide by eating an apple laced with cyanide.
Nozomi81: interesting, neh?
Raging Aardvark: mm...almonds....
Nozomi81: ...
Nozomi81: not quite the reaction I was going for, but that works
Raging Aardvark: so the guy who invented CS had boobies?
Nozomi81: ....
Raging Aardvark: man, no wonder computer nerds are picked on in school.
Nozomi81: one of the fundamentalists of CS, no
Nozomi81: yes, I mean
Nozomi81: heh
Nozomi81: right :-P
Nozomi81: I just thought that it was interesting that he killed himself for that reason
Raging Aardvark: taboos can exert a strong influence on people
Nozomi81: very true
Raging Aardvark: so much that they make you take HRT to the point of not being able to get it up and growing boobies.
Nozomi81: hahahha
Nozomi81: how eloquent
Raging Aardvark: yeah 8-)
Raging Aardvark: that's neato. i can add to my collection of random trivia ^_^
Damn. That sucks.

Yeah, so as you might have noticed (all you like, two people that read this thing), the comments system hasn't been up and running - and after going to my commenting system's website, it appears that he lost his server in the giant blackout in the northeast... damn... I would hate for that to happen to me... that sucks... =\


Kitty Quest

Alright, so I go out today with Kim to go look at Petco at a volunteer cat shelter at around noon today (since she's looking for a cat) fully expecting to spend an hour or so, then come home, because I have a lot of work to catch up on for school this weekend... I just got home. Turns out we did a few other things, I picked up something I needed for a class, then we drove to the other side of town to look at the SPCA (she was JUST going to LOOK today, since she hadn't told her parents that she wants a cat get...) and she falls in love with a kitten there, and we leave to pick something else up for me, and she gets a hold of her parents, who said it's ok, and would pay the pet deposit, so we haul it back to the SPCA, buy the kitty (his name is Jennings, and he's really cute) then have a $170 dollar shopping spree at a PetCo way up north, drive allll the way back home, and set up everything at her place... and I just got home... I really need to learn not to run on these *short* *window shopping* expeditions with her... =P But hey, Jennings is really cute, and it was fun, so oh well... just have to figure out how to do all my work in the next 24 hrs... -_-


Well look at that...

Wish Bear
You are the dreamer of the group and believe that things will all turn out exactly how you want them to be. Your extreme optimism often annoys your friends but they realize that you do have the power to make your dreams come true. You also keep an eye out for your friends, always looking out for them.


Alright, how on earth do I get myself into all this stuff? It's been a long day, (since it started at 7 am, not cool) and what I mean is all the stuff I am going to do... so, I recently became a student member of the DMC lab, in which I'll be working on gaming research and stuff while I'm here at UT, which means I need to spend time there every few days working - my first project is a pretty big one I need to make in Director. That'll be a whopper, I think, I still need to learn some more of the technical side of it. Plus, my classes are starting to catch up, I have two programming assignments already, tons of reading to do, and have already almost fallen asleep in a few classes... to make matters worse, I still need to acquire a copy of Unreal 2 (help, anyone?) and play another game and write reports about them (fun, I know, but timing is terrible). Finally, the game dev class is really going to get started up, and I met a guy in there who I am now going to try to design the logo and part of his webpage for the company he just started (but it'll probably be paid ^_~) - this is where a conversation that starts as Him: "Hey, are you an animator?" Me: "Not as my primary focus, I'm a programmer, but I do art on the side" gets me -_- And we're going to go hardcore into the game development stuff soon, and in class today, the professor, while talking about not being pigeonholed into a job says, "for example, we have someone in here who is a programmer, but is also 3d artist," and he looks around and says, "huh... he must be missing," so I think to myself, wow... I really need to meet that guy. Then he looks straight at me and says, "Oh, there he is. He's a computer scientist who's also a 3D artist, he's been doing both of those for a long time." Long time? I've barely been doing CS for anytime, much less 3D art! Throw on some NODA stuff, and making the Memory CD and Memory Book, and set to 'puree'.

Eep. -_-


Caught in the sun.

Course Of Nature Caught In The Sun lyrics
You're my distanced destination of choice
I'd give anything just to hear your voice
I couldn't pass you on the street
Without saying a word
Most times I missed the voice
That goes unheard

What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough

People everywhere how could I be sure
Is it you that I have been looking for
What would it take for me to be comfortable
With you, with me you're the chosen one

What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough

You are there for me this I hope and pray
You will wait for me, I wont be too late

What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough

Will you wait for me
Or will I be to late this time
You are there for me this I hope and pray



What is Your Destiny? by Valcion
DestinyLegendary Hero
Date when you fufill your destinySeptember 18, 2011
Created with quill18's MemeGen!


Stuff, of course

Give a random, slightly unscripted speech in front of thousands of fellow students... check

It's awfully neat to check off things on that invisible list of things to do. =P

Also, post queue:
Lollapalooza (8/23)
AI in gaming conference (8/28 - 8/30)


Just go away.

I want to cry and punch something, and sleep, and scream, and just disappear all at the same time.

Stupid world.

Yeah, alright, so I STILL haven't posted, and now I have even more to recap (Lollapalooza, AI conference, and random updates with school starting) In the meantime, here:

Who Will You Marry? by Sari
DateOctober 24, 2017
SpouseOrlando Bloom
Price of Wedding$198,158
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Go contemplate that.


Must... post...

Haven't posted in a while, but I DO have stuff to recap, such as LOLLAPALOOZA! (which will be a photo-recap ^_^)

Meanwhile, there was a spur of the moment boy's night at my place on Friday, and here is by far the line of the night.

"I am the horseshit that exists in your mind." - Joe and Patrick

Thanks guys, good to see you all again =P



Alright, so I have this cool digital frame thing, and people can send pictures to it:


login: yume
password: nozomi

Send pictures to frame: nozomiyume

anyways, I am trying to decide whether I should renew the subscription or not... but until then, send me pictures! ^_^



1) What has been the best experience in your life to date?
Wow, that's really tough... hmm... I guess I would say when I had the realization about how content I really am with my life currently. When I look back at the things that I hoped and dreamed about growing up, I've accomplished almost all of them. There are still things that I want to do and work on, but I'm happy with how my life has progressed to this point. I don't remember when I exactly had this realization, but it was a spectacular experience ^_^

2) What is your family life like?
Hmm... not as wonderful as I would like sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and my sister a great deal. But because we grew up in very different cultures, and hold many varying opinions, I find us disagreeing on many subjects, which really divides us. As per my sister and I, we have recently gotten closer, but now that she's moved away, I don't see her nearly as much. I've always been a loner, so I'm sure that is a good part of it. As per my extended family, we are all very caring about each other, but are always SO busy and in SO many different locations, it is oftentimes years between when we see each other. Weddings are usually the only big get together, and even then, it's not always everyone.

3) What state do you think the world is in today?
The world is currently in a very similar but unique state to what it always has been. When compared to a Utopia, we are obviously far from it, and compared to the world hundreds of years ago, we have made a great deal of progress. However, we are constantly plagued by pain, greed and backstabbing in foreign and domestic affairs. I think it's really sad that a success in this world may be one who lies, cheats and steals to make his way to the top. There are many things awry with this world; I think a perfect indicator is to look at the world that we grew up in when we were children, (which, of course, was not perfect) and compare it to how children grow up today, surrounded by violence and video games, living in a very superficial world. I am definately curious to see what kind of a world my children will grow up in. *shrugs* Who knows? My take, although it may seem pessimistic, also can be summed up very easily, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

4) Did you ever have a pet growing up? Talk about him/her.
Hmm... pet... I do remember having gerbils at some point... they were a lot of fun to play around with, they ran around the house and everything, (we even had one of those little balls that they run around in) then one of them had babies, fourteen, if I remember right... I think many of them died =( To be completely honest, I really don't remember them very vividly. We also had a tank with a few fish in them (goldfish as one, I believe) and again, one of them had babies, and one of the fish ate all but one of them... Wow, with pet stories like that, you could grow up awfully screwed up in the head. *_* I honestly don't remember them very well, and if you know me, you know I don't remember much of my childhood. On a lighter note, many of my friends had dogs, John had Sandy, Sean had Patches (a bit later, after growing a while), and Michael had Pepper, so I played with them all while growing up, so I got my pet experiences there. =P

5) What's the stupidest thing you ever did to impress a girl?
Any question that starts with "What's the stupidest..." cannot bode well... now, see the problem with asking someone who grew up in the "out" crowd is that normally they don't have to guts to actually go DO anything, so the answer usually won't be very juicy. The only thing that I can think of is a time back in high school, when there was a girl that I liked that went to another school, and I went by her school at like six in the morning and dropped by a rose with a note on it (to be delivered to her later in the day) asking her to my school's prom (knowing full well the most probable answer) Needless to say, she of course said no, which was incredibly awkward, especially since her best friend apparently had a huge crush on me. Wheeee! =P

1 -- Leave a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions (they may be of a personal nature).
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

Boggboy: all they needed was a love of D&D and a Catholic schoolgirl outfit and I might've died right there. ;-)
Nozomi81: now that's blog / profile material :-P
Boggboy: Dammit! I always do that! :-P
Nozomi81: yeah you do :-P


What the?

Emotional coma.

I feel this way quite often. Very eloquent, leiahime.

(and for those who pull the art card - you know my argument to that.)
Alrgorithm chimp.

Now, I don't fancy the idea of sitting behind a computer 16 hours and being a code monkey for the working years of my life, but it is a really cool feeling when you finish a really long program that WORKS PERFECTLY and does something that would take a person days of monotonous work in under a second. ^_^

Yay for successfully writing a program again. ^_^
(and one that solves a problem, no less!)



Arrrgh! stupid contact! Wasted a good 30 minutes trying to put my contact in, only to get it stuck in my eye with a hair behind it, now my right eye is REALLY bloodshot and I look like a coke addict. Screw the contacts, I'm wearing glasses. It's gonna be a wonderful day, I can tell already. -_-


Kim's repsonse when I accidentally log off...

UTAngel27: you litte butt

Auto response from Nozomi81: try me at NozomiYume

UTAngel27: I can't, you aren't on
UTAngel27: or, little butt

hmm... I guess that's love =P



Listen to Evanescence - Fields Of Innocence...

Wow... that's the kind of song that that previous post was about.

Thanks Pat.



It's been so long.

The life that flows inside of you burns inside of me.

I had nearly forgotten what it felt like to really listen.

They love to tell you stay inside the lines.

To more than just hear music, to feel it.

Scars are souvenirs you never lose, the past is never far.

To close your eyes and disappear.

I almost fell into that hole in your life. And you're not thinking about tomorrow.

To let the words tell you a story.

You make the sound of laughter. And sharpened nails seem softer.

A story of life.

I know I'll see you again, whether far or soon.

Of loss.

The pistol's shakin' in my hands, and all I hear is the sound.

Of happiness?

The light was just right, it reminded me twice that I was alive.

To just try and imagine.

I will hold you close if you're afraid of heights.

What the writer felt when writing it.

'Cause it's always raining in my head. Forget all the things I should have said.

Was it written over tear soaked pages?

So lonely inside so busy out there. And all you wanted was somebody who cares.

Was it an epic, written over years?

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

An inspiration, jotted on a napkin?

And so you wait. And lie awake. For a lonely miracle.

It's the kind of art that numbs all fears.

A baby crying through a dream. An afterthought.

That gives a connection.

Something 'bout the way your hair falls in your face.

Were they aware of the inspiration behind their words?

And now I wish that I could turn back the hours but I know i just don't have the power.

That people would relate their past.

Since I said I'm sorry. Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face.

Their pains.

'Cause I'm fucked up because you are. Need attention, attention you couldn't give.

Their emotions.

I don't want you back. You're just the best I ever had.

And feel like the song was speaking to noone but them.

To make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel.

A single voice in an ocean of noise.

I'm waiting for the sky to fall. I'm waiting for a sign.

To be able to show you.

Tease me, by holding out your hand. Then leave me, or take me as I am.

New worlds.

You won't let me fall. You still my heart and you take my breath away.

New thoughts.

And she wonders where these dreams go, 'cause the world got in her way.

New dreams.

Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself. Maybe I'll wake up for once.

To be able to blur the edge of reality.

I am not made of steel. But your secrets' safe with me.

To give a short escape.

We just need your help, so glad you're here.

From which you have to leave.

When everything feels like the movies. And you bleed just to know you're alive.

And leave you questioning.

No disappointment 'til I wake up. Don't want to wake up.

What is real, and just a dream.

And I'm somewhere in between. What is real, and just a dream.
Beauty in struggle


I hate the feeling that my mind is overpowering me... I can't shatter the fears, the anxieties, the pain, it just keeps flooding my head, everything. I don't understand how I did this so many times before, concealing mind and body in a shell in the corner, and going out with a smile on my face. I can't breathe, the cold night now scares me because of what my mind does. I hate closing my eyes to sleep, because of how much my mind races, from one thing to another, now, five years ago, five years from now, five minutes from now... I just don't know what to do... Such a familiar feeling, familiar place... I don't know... I need an outlet... something... anything...

I'm just so tired. *sigh*

Understanding (Wash It All Away)

"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the answer is always there."

(Can't wash it all away)
(Can't Wish it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
(Can't cry it all away)

The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we idolize
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time

"We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

Lying beside you
Listening to you breathe
The life that flows inside of you
Burns inside of me
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
Cast me not away
Say you'll be with me
For I know I cannot
Bear it all alone

"You're not alone, are you?"
"Never... Never."

Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

(Can't fight it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
Can't scream it all away
Ooh, it all away
Ooh, it all away

"But the answer is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
Photo op

Yay! Added another three more of my close friends to the sidebar! ^_^


Massive quizzage!

Night Sky1
You come from the Night Sky. You're drawn to the
stars and planets, and it's no wonder why, you
came from them.

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

You represent... hope.
You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and as many say 'Your head is in the clouds.'
Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the clouds."

What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are NEMO!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

Smooth and dark, you are potent and bitchy yet seductive and irresistible
Congratulations! You're a black velvet!

What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You Are Beauty
You are Beauty.

You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the
outside, or both. People are drawn to you as
strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the
world around you.

What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

YOu see the world in Neutral
Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.

Made by

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Storm!

You are very strong and very protective of those
you love. You are in tune with nature and are
very concerned with justice and humanity.
Unfortunately, certain apprehensions and fears
are very hard for you to overcome, and can
often inhibit you when most need to be strong.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Neo
You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What rating is your journal?

brought to you by Quizilla



I was just reading through my old entries and comments, and I really wanted to say something to anyone that actually does read / comment this thing.

Thanks for the thought, and thanks for commenting, it really does mean a lot to be able to see what other people are feeling as well, and that people care.


ARGH! Now I know how I became a depressed, annoyed, angst-ridden, sad, frustrated, angry teenager in high school!



Old Friends

Wow... that's what really good friends are for, those four and a half hour long conversations that you have after not talking to each other for months on end, just sitting back and catching up on the most random thoughts in the world (and getting an art fix =P). It was SO great to be able to just rant and rave to each other about old times and new. It was wonderful to be able to take a few hours out of our busy lives and talk, it's been a while, thanks Shell, lots of love! ^_^

and BTW, I loved the picture! =P (will be posted later)
Old Music

Tonic - If You Could Only See

If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me

That was playing on the car ride back - oooold song (1996 - 7 years ago, can you believe that?), but good one ^_^
Woo! Been a long time since I've had a late night talking with Anthony, Chamal and Phoebe. Nothing like Tony to remind you how terrible of a world this place really is! (He's one of them evil lawyer types... that's why)

Now off to sleep, only to wake up early! Whee! -_-
I've had this song stuck in my head for a long time now... and I finally really read the lyrics tonight.

Lifehouse - Somewhere In Between

I can't be losing sleep over this, no I can't.
And now I cannot stop pacing.
Give me a few hours, I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing.

'Cause I cannot stand still.
I can't be this unsturdy.
This cannot be happening.

This is over my head but underneath my feet,
'Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat.
And ev'rything will be back to the way that is was.
I wish that it was just that easy.

'Cause I'm waiting for tonight,
Then waiting for tomorrow.
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream,

What is real and just a dream,
What is real and just a dream.

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in?
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again.
I don't want to run away from this.
I know that I just don't need this.

'Cause I cannot stand still.
I can't be tihs unsturdy.
This cannot be happening.

'Cause I'm waiting for tonight,
Then waiting for tomorrow.
And I'm somewhere in between

What is real and just a dream,
What is real and just a dream.

What is real and just a dream.

Somewhere In Between (commentary by Jason Wade)
Before my girlfriend and I got together, she had broken up with this guy. I'd been head-over-heels for her for years even though she was dating him. So they broke up, and I was like, "Man, if I don't make a move now, I may never get a chance." I was always friends with her but never really could get a step further. So I started taking her out to dinners and stuff. She was a little bit on the rebound, but I think she had some feelings for me. We were at that point where we weren't sure if we were dating or not, or even if she really liked me in that way. It was a very vulnerable time for me and that's when I wrote "Somewhere In Between." I poured all those feelings into the song. Then I played it for her and that was it - we were together.

"I poured all those feelings into the song."

Wow... I wish I could do that... *sigh* -_-


NozomiYume: well, depening where I do grad...
NozomiYume: I may or may not even be in the state :-/
Raging Aardvark: !
Raging Aardvark: dude,
Raging Aardvark: there are BEARS outside of texas.
Raging Aardvark: it's dangerous
NozomiYume: hmm.... do you have any time off before school starts, or is it back to back?
Raging Aardvark: i have about 8 days or so?
NozomiYume: suck
Raging Aardvark: you planning something?
NozomiYume: nah, just trying to see if you, me and mike, and others would have any time to do anything before school started
NozomiYume: even if it was a one or two day thing
NozomiYume: I dunno *shrugs*
Raging Aardvark: such as....?
NozomiYume: I dunno...
NozomiYume: anything
NozomiYume: just haven't been able to sit back and enjoy the company of many friends in a long time
NozomiYume: and w/ college coming to a close, I fear time is slim :-(
Raging Aardvark: !
Raging Aardvark: nononono
NozomiYume: dude...
Raging Aardvark: the future does not exist the future does not exist the future does not exist the future does not exist the future does not exist
NozomiYume: the aardvark rages on!
Raging Aardvark: grr.
Nozomi, your true talent is spatial ability

This ability to visualize objects in three-dimensional space can give you a unique view of the world. You appear to understand how figures can be manipulated and take on new forms. Because of this talent, you can probably imagine new designs easily, including anything from floor plans to page layouts — and even 3D product prototypes.

People like you are usually great when it comes to putting together assemble-it-yourself furniture or other household items — whether the items arrive with instructions or not. Your spatial skills can also help you understand the finer points of how things work.

How do we know that your true talent is spatial ability? While you were taking the test, we calculated your responses to each test question, and noticed that, relative to others, you consistently answered questions that measure spatial ability correctly.
Nozomi, your destiny is to be an Advisor

Whether you know it or not, this is the role that is most in tune with who you are at your core. As an advisor, you are a quiet and reserved person who loves to help others achieve their potential through interpersonal connections. Others value you for your wisdom, integrity, and sound advice, as well as your genuine concern for people's welfare. You are a thoughtful person, trust your gut feeling about things, and have extremely acute intuition. You are somewhat of a poet in your way of thinking, finding beauty and meaning in simple things. Because of your sensitivity and soft-spoken ways, you may experience mood swings and the inability to get out of bad situation from time to time. Just be aware of that and you will get stuck in fewer unsatisfying ruts.

(so says emode.com - who would've thought?)



PFOJ)(Q@&H#(*^(&C26tr324ny9c2r86b87B5*&$876$865b*&NH^7(*NY(&*^N%(*@#M(*XNY5x982ym98n7x9r28(*&$#@UHCIUN(*@!MNE(@! X(*HE(YX@!(*&$Y8xnx214@(*&YN#*&$Y*#@&N$(*#@YN84c!!!


Grrrr! Now I remember why I so rarely come home... only home for LITERALLY like 5 minutes, and managed to get into an argument with my parents... -_- *sigh*

Anyways, on a more positive note - this Megatokyo is damn funny! ^_^ (I can see some of my friends in Largo's position... no, seriously...)

Also... this is how I feel sometimes... Ow. (not always just about video games, trust me)

Many a conversation I've had... *sigh*

And finally, Read Sandman. Because... wow... I didn't really like the American style of comics before, but this was really eye-opening. However, be forewarned, it is a VERY dark series.


Adieu for a while, Austin, I need to go back to Houston... went to go watch my cousing play tennis this morning, he's trying to get in the top 100 in the nation so he can get an easy ride to Harvard. Damn impressive player - congrats on your match today Jonathan! Anyways, I'm sure my parents and other cousin, David, will be thrilled that I fell asleep for like three and a half hours after coming back - I told them I would be in Houston early afternoon - doh. -_-


There's always time for random AIM snippets!

Nozomi81: heh heh heh - you're a redhead :-P
Boggboy: damn. if only I was a hot chick, I could just date me and be done with it. :-P
Nozomi81: ...
Nozomi81: wow
Nozomi81: now that's a quote for the books :-P
Boggboy: aw shit.
Nozomi81: O:-)
Woo! Got my roommate's hair dyed red! (very subtle though, especially in the picture... damn....) but yeah, it looks pretty cool. For anyone who knows Mike, you'll understand why I'm so excited. =P


Wow... so I survived... skydiving was UNbelievable! I was a little nervous at first, but the second we took off it all went away, and I was more excited than words can express. (Also, I convinced Mike to come too, which made me really happy) So we went up, and they opened the door on the side as the winds whizzed by. We flew for a good ten minutes, and as I got strapped in tight, Aurlie scooted up, and... *WHOOSH!* she flew out the side of the plane. So, I scooted up, strands of my hair whipping my face from the wild winds cutting by, and I kneeled out the plane, and as I looked out to the world below, all around, I was thrown out of the plane, spinning. And at that second, it was AMAZING - you could see the whole world, in EVERY direction, the world seemed so gigantic, and encompassing. And even though there was a guy strapped onto my back, I felt alone, in the sky, able to finally see the world around me, and I screamed - I screamed a scream of excitement about the world, and the experience, about the wind blowing in my face as we free fell. It was spectacularly beautiful. And after about fifteen to twenty seconds, the parachute opened, and we began floating down for about a minute and a half, able to really take a look at the world. Have you ever looked out the window of a plane, and just wanted to see the world unhindered, not in a box? That's what this was - words can't describe the way it looked up there. I strongly encourage everyone to try it at least once. Even our most nervous person (Very nervous) came back completely giddy afterwards. In the words of my tandem instructor - "It really changes your whole life perspective." I couldn't agree more.
Conversation with some of the jumpers at the skydiving place today:

(I'm wearing my Stone Temple Pilots T-shirt at the time.)
Jumper 1: Stone Temple Pilots?... So are you a pilot?
Me: huh?... oh... no, it's a band
Jumper 1: Oh... ok
Jumper 2: Dude, I can't believe you don't know who Stone Temple Pilots are... *sigh*

Anyways, it was funny at the time. ^_^
Argh!! It shouldn't take four and a half hours to set up a damn Internet Sharing Service! DAMN YOU MICROSOFT!!! .... Gonna go get some sleep before tommorow -_-


Hokay, so I'm gonna go jump out of a plane tommorrow... I'm excited, I think it's gonna be a lot of fun, but also just a wee bit terrified... o_O Anyways, we'll see how it goes ^_^
Regarding my earlier post - it's interesting that that emotion wasn't spurred at follies, our big, emotional get together, but a few days afterwards... strange that.


So here I sit in the CS lab in Painter - the stereotypical CS major, sitting at a computer, wearing taped up glasses, surrounded by other CS majors working on projects. "No, no, no the string won't work for this - we need to change the class." "Yeah, alright let's try this." It slowly fades into a low murmur of ununderstandable gibberish.

I just walked by Jester for the first time after Orientation this year - I drove up, and half expected to see fellow Orientation Advisors walking out of the building, or cluttering up the lobby. Instead I saw a cleaning woman through the glass doors, sweeping up the dusty floor of the entrance. I walked into the Jester West concourse and into Jester store, and as I left I could literally see the tables set-up for check in - people running around to organize the 1000 people to come through that week. Smiling faces separating parent from child... and it started to hit me - never again. Simply put - never again. Never would I cheer on the aisles of opening session on Day 1, or give a monologue at Diversity. Never again touch people through CI or be able to run up and scream on stage or cheer in the aisles of Traditions, belting out the Fight song. Never again would I be able to walk down to the Jester lobby to be surrounded by friends. Never again would I be able to try and help the program, or make a memory CD (the irony of that statement is rather entertaining) And never again would I have the chance to meet a group of 90 AMAZING people, and try to make as many friends as possible in the short half-year we're together. I think it's starting to hit me.

*sigh* I think I'm going to cry.



You're a Diamond. You seem like a cold and an
unreachable person outside, yet you are
beautiful inside and outside. You may be
stubborn at times. You act with grace and
elegance and you are a precious asset to all
your friends.

What Jewel Are You?
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ICE is your chinese symbol!

What Chinese Symbol Are You?
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Wow, one of the best feelings in the world is being able to talk to an old friend you thought you lost all contact with, just have an honest conversation with each other, and help each other through random decisions. Thanks, it was good to hear from you again. ^_^