12/25/2003

Merry Christmas to all!

Well, here's wishing a very Merry Christmas to everyone out there, while it still is Christmas. It's been a unique and yet uneventful day, starting with an awakening from a bizzare dream. From there, rolled out of bed and plugged into the TV to do some much needed gaming, since I haven't played in a long time (why didn't I open presents, you ask? - because my dad is currently in Korea and is on his way back tommorow. So we'll celebrate when he gets back tommorow) Needless to say, tensions were high with arguments between my sister and I, and it spread. After some gaming, and trying to explain my side of the story of the argument I was having with my sister to my mother (quite unsuccessfully) Also probably the first time I actually told my mother that I feel like my sister's doormat - that was fun. Then to finishing some Christmas presents for my friends, and hunting for more online. As the evening came, I suppose the Christmas spirit came over the house, and my sister and I (for some reason not arguing currently o_O) decided to put up the Christmas tree, and spent some time reminiscing over ornaments made from elementary school on. And after topping the tree with the star, we sat down for dinner where my mom told us some stories of our childhood days, about how crazy and psycho of a little kid I was (apparently I was a ball of energy) and how my sister was a little brat from childhood =P. But probably the most interesting was the tales my mom told of my dad, and how he spoiled us when we were kids, how he was always the lenient one who couldn't enforce things, and always got us what we wanted. Really was cool, made me actually miss him again. I'm really really hoping that my sister and him don't go at it for anything when he comes back, because he's so happy when he sees his whole family together, but the second something goes wrong and my sister (or occassionally me) throws a fit about something, the whole look on his and my mother's face drops... and I really hate seeing that. I've been trying to get better at it, but this whole "doormat" to my sister thing drives me nuts, and I can't help but complain. Anyways, now I'm ranting. So now I sit in my living room, relaxing (the work I need to do I can't, because I need a camera, printer, power supply and motherboard, all of which I don't have) and looking at the tree and watching TV. Nice to finally kick back occassionally.

Merry Christmas everyone ^_^

When I close my eyes, I see...

Random scenes from a truly bizzare dream I had last night... I honestly don't remember much of it, and have thus spent a good portion of the day trying to remember what it was (for anyone who doesn't know, I never remember my dreams). For some reason, all I remember was that I was living in some apartment (nothing like the one I have now), and in a completely different place. And I think there was something to do with... some sort of animal in the complex? And some other people in the complex (the entire dream, to my recollection, never strayed from the porch (not ground floor) outside of the door of my apartment, and at one point looking in to see Mike crashed on some sort of couch. And I think there was something to do with strange faces... I know at some point someone removed a part (nose? lips?) of their face, very Mr. Potatohead-esque. Yeah... it was strange. I woke up... looked around to try and comprehend my bizzare head... and decided not to write it down, so I've been picking through it in my head all day to no avail.

When I stop listening, I hear...

"These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase,

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream I’d fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
but you still… have… all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
but though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along,

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream I’d fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
but you still… have… all of me oh..., me oh..., me oh... "

12/11/2003

-_-

My computer is toast - don't be surprised if I'm not online much anymore.... *sigh*

12/10/2003

Just listen...


Take a break. Download Evanescence - My Immortal. It's a song that you can close your eyes and let your heartbeat slow down to. So soft... so calm... so soothing...

Evanescence - My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me