What is Your Destiny? by Valcion
DestinyLegendary Hero
Date when you fufill your destinySeptember 18, 2011
Created with quill18's MemeGen!


Stuff, of course

Give a random, slightly unscripted speech in front of thousands of fellow students... check

It's awfully neat to check off things on that invisible list of things to do. =P

Also, post queue:
Lollapalooza (8/23)
AI in gaming conference (8/28 - 8/30)


Just go away.

I want to cry and punch something, and sleep, and scream, and just disappear all at the same time.

Stupid world.

Yeah, alright, so I STILL haven't posted, and now I have even more to recap (Lollapalooza, AI conference, and random updates with school starting) In the meantime, here:

Who Will You Marry? by Sari
DateOctober 24, 2017
SpouseOrlando Bloom
Price of Wedding$198,158
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Go contemplate that.


Must... post...

Haven't posted in a while, but I DO have stuff to recap, such as LOLLAPALOOZA! (which will be a photo-recap ^_^)

Meanwhile, there was a spur of the moment boy's night at my place on Friday, and here is by far the line of the night.

"I am the horseshit that exists in your mind." - Joe and Patrick

Thanks guys, good to see you all again =P



Alright, so I have this cool digital frame thing, and people can send pictures to it:


login: yume
password: nozomi

Send pictures to frame: nozomiyume

anyways, I am trying to decide whether I should renew the subscription or not... but until then, send me pictures! ^_^



1) What has been the best experience in your life to date?
Wow, that's really tough... hmm... I guess I would say when I had the realization about how content I really am with my life currently. When I look back at the things that I hoped and dreamed about growing up, I've accomplished almost all of them. There are still things that I want to do and work on, but I'm happy with how my life has progressed to this point. I don't remember when I exactly had this realization, but it was a spectacular experience ^_^

2) What is your family life like?
Hmm... not as wonderful as I would like sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and my sister a great deal. But because we grew up in very different cultures, and hold many varying opinions, I find us disagreeing on many subjects, which really divides us. As per my sister and I, we have recently gotten closer, but now that she's moved away, I don't see her nearly as much. I've always been a loner, so I'm sure that is a good part of it. As per my extended family, we are all very caring about each other, but are always SO busy and in SO many different locations, it is oftentimes years between when we see each other. Weddings are usually the only big get together, and even then, it's not always everyone.

3) What state do you think the world is in today?
The world is currently in a very similar but unique state to what it always has been. When compared to a Utopia, we are obviously far from it, and compared to the world hundreds of years ago, we have made a great deal of progress. However, we are constantly plagued by pain, greed and backstabbing in foreign and domestic affairs. I think it's really sad that a success in this world may be one who lies, cheats and steals to make his way to the top. There are many things awry with this world; I think a perfect indicator is to look at the world that we grew up in when we were children, (which, of course, was not perfect) and compare it to how children grow up today, surrounded by violence and video games, living in a very superficial world. I am definately curious to see what kind of a world my children will grow up in. *shrugs* Who knows? My take, although it may seem pessimistic, also can be summed up very easily, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

4) Did you ever have a pet growing up? Talk about him/her.
Hmm... pet... I do remember having gerbils at some point... they were a lot of fun to play around with, they ran around the house and everything, (we even had one of those little balls that they run around in) then one of them had babies, fourteen, if I remember right... I think many of them died =( To be completely honest, I really don't remember them very vividly. We also had a tank with a few fish in them (goldfish as one, I believe) and again, one of them had babies, and one of the fish ate all but one of them... Wow, with pet stories like that, you could grow up awfully screwed up in the head. *_* I honestly don't remember them very well, and if you know me, you know I don't remember much of my childhood. On a lighter note, many of my friends had dogs, John had Sandy, Sean had Patches (a bit later, after growing a while), and Michael had Pepper, so I played with them all while growing up, so I got my pet experiences there. =P

5) What's the stupidest thing you ever did to impress a girl?
Any question that starts with "What's the stupidest..." cannot bode well... now, see the problem with asking someone who grew up in the "out" crowd is that normally they don't have to guts to actually go DO anything, so the answer usually won't be very juicy. The only thing that I can think of is a time back in high school, when there was a girl that I liked that went to another school, and I went by her school at like six in the morning and dropped by a rose with a note on it (to be delivered to her later in the day) asking her to my school's prom (knowing full well the most probable answer) Needless to say, she of course said no, which was incredibly awkward, especially since her best friend apparently had a huge crush on me. Wheeee! =P

1 -- Leave a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions (they may be of a personal nature).
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

Boggboy: all they needed was a love of D&D and a Catholic schoolgirl outfit and I might've died right there. ;-)
Nozomi81: now that's blog / profile material :-P
Boggboy: Dammit! I always do that! :-P
Nozomi81: yeah you do :-P


What the?

Emotional coma.

I feel this way quite often. Very eloquent, leiahime.

(and for those who pull the art card - you know my argument to that.)
Alrgorithm chimp.

Now, I don't fancy the idea of sitting behind a computer 16 hours and being a code monkey for the working years of my life, but it is a really cool feeling when you finish a really long program that WORKS PERFECTLY and does something that would take a person days of monotonous work in under a second. ^_^

Yay for successfully writing a program again. ^_^
(and one that solves a problem, no less!)



Arrrgh! stupid contact! Wasted a good 30 minutes trying to put my contact in, only to get it stuck in my eye with a hair behind it, now my right eye is REALLY bloodshot and I look like a coke addict. Screw the contacts, I'm wearing glasses. It's gonna be a wonderful day, I can tell already. -_-


Kim's repsonse when I accidentally log off...

UTAngel27: you litte butt

Auto response from Nozomi81: try me at NozomiYume

UTAngel27: I can't, you aren't on
UTAngel27: or, little butt

hmm... I guess that's love =P



Listen to Evanescence - Fields Of Innocence...

Wow... that's the kind of song that that previous post was about.

Thanks Pat.



It's been so long.

The life that flows inside of you burns inside of me.

I had nearly forgotten what it felt like to really listen.

They love to tell you stay inside the lines.

To more than just hear music, to feel it.

Scars are souvenirs you never lose, the past is never far.

To close your eyes and disappear.

I almost fell into that hole in your life. And you're not thinking about tomorrow.

To let the words tell you a story.

You make the sound of laughter. And sharpened nails seem softer.

A story of life.

I know I'll see you again, whether far or soon.

Of loss.

The pistol's shakin' in my hands, and all I hear is the sound.

Of happiness?

The light was just right, it reminded me twice that I was alive.

To just try and imagine.

I will hold you close if you're afraid of heights.

What the writer felt when writing it.

'Cause it's always raining in my head. Forget all the things I should have said.

Was it written over tear soaked pages?

So lonely inside so busy out there. And all you wanted was somebody who cares.

Was it an epic, written over years?

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

An inspiration, jotted on a napkin?

And so you wait. And lie awake. For a lonely miracle.

It's the kind of art that numbs all fears.

A baby crying through a dream. An afterthought.

That gives a connection.

Something 'bout the way your hair falls in your face.

Were they aware of the inspiration behind their words?

And now I wish that I could turn back the hours but I know i just don't have the power.

That people would relate their past.

Since I said I'm sorry. Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face.

Their pains.

'Cause I'm fucked up because you are. Need attention, attention you couldn't give.

Their emotions.

I don't want you back. You're just the best I ever had.

And feel like the song was speaking to noone but them.

To make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel.

A single voice in an ocean of noise.

I'm waiting for the sky to fall. I'm waiting for a sign.

To be able to show you.

Tease me, by holding out your hand. Then leave me, or take me as I am.

New worlds.

You won't let me fall. You still my heart and you take my breath away.

New thoughts.

And she wonders where these dreams go, 'cause the world got in her way.

New dreams.

Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself. Maybe I'll wake up for once.

To be able to blur the edge of reality.

I am not made of steel. But your secrets' safe with me.

To give a short escape.

We just need your help, so glad you're here.

From which you have to leave.

When everything feels like the movies. And you bleed just to know you're alive.

And leave you questioning.

No disappointment 'til I wake up. Don't want to wake up.

What is real, and just a dream.

And I'm somewhere in between. What is real, and just a dream.
Beauty in struggle


I hate the feeling that my mind is overpowering me... I can't shatter the fears, the anxieties, the pain, it just keeps flooding my head, everything. I don't understand how I did this so many times before, concealing mind and body in a shell in the corner, and going out with a smile on my face. I can't breathe, the cold night now scares me because of what my mind does. I hate closing my eyes to sleep, because of how much my mind races, from one thing to another, now, five years ago, five years from now, five minutes from now... I just don't know what to do... Such a familiar feeling, familiar place... I don't know... I need an outlet... something... anything...

I'm just so tired. *sigh*

Understanding (Wash It All Away)

"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the answer is always there."

(Can't wash it all away)
(Can't Wish it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
(Can't cry it all away)

The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we idolize
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time

"We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

Lying beside you
Listening to you breathe
The life that flows inside of you
Burns inside of me
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
Cast me not away
Say you'll be with me
For I know I cannot
Bear it all alone

"You're not alone, are you?"
"Never... Never."

Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

(Can't fight it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
Can't scream it all away
Ooh, it all away
Ooh, it all away

"But the answer is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
"Because I'm tired of it too."
Photo op

Yay! Added another three more of my close friends to the sidebar! ^_^