Control

I hate the feeling that my mind is overpowering me... I can't shatter the fears, the anxieties, the pain, it just keeps flooding my head, everything. I don't understand how I did this so many times before, concealing mind and body in a shell in the corner, and going out with a smile on my face. I can't breathe, the cold night now scares me because of what my mind does. I hate closing my eyes to sleep, because of how much my mind races, from one thing to another, now, five years ago, five years from now, five minutes from now... I just don't know what to do... Such a familiar feeling, familiar place... I don't know... I need an outlet... something... anything...

I'm just so tired. *sigh*