Dad wins Christmas

Another goofy family Christmas spent sitting around the living room taking turns opening presents, from sincere to goofy gifts and corresponding expressions on everyone's face. Then there was one last gift to mom, addressed "Open Last". I didn't do it, my sister didn't do it, and my didn't didn't do it (or so he claimed). So my mom opens it up and squeals with joy and says "Omigosh! It's the perfect gift!" She went over and gleefully kissed my dad and we found out what it was - a dvd version of their wedding, from 1975 (which was previously on Super 8 film).

It also turns out that this was the first time my mom and dad (and grandmother) had ever seen the video. Apparently the person who took it was a family friend and didn't send it to them until years later, when they no longer had a Super 8 player. So there we sat, watching my mom and dad in their prime and giddily in love, getting married. It was a pretty breathtaking view into the past at my culture. Just even imagining them sitting there, what it must have been like (a full six years before I was born). It certainly gave me a different view on my parents and what they have been through and done up until now. There was something really soothing about seeing my dad do something romantic for my mom like that. Certainly made Christmas a little nicer. :)
Merry Christmas!

There's something very fun about being at home for Christmas - going through family traditions, relaxing and getting away from everything, shopping way too much, wrapping presents. A good reminder of the wonderful family that I've had my entire life. Coming home and hearing the familiar clank and clatter of 5, 10, 15, even 20 year ornaments on the tree always makes me remember :)

I also had the chance to talk more with my grandmother, which is always an en enlightening experience. Here are two quotes:

While talking about my mother and father while they were courting and young - very long distance (from New York to India)

When you have love, there is no fear. (translated from a Hindi proverb)

And after I inquired what my grandmother thought about my aunt, who embraced Judaism from her husband as well as Sikhism (the religion in which she was raised)

Different religions all teach the same morals - speak the truth, honor thy mother and father, etc. The cultures we have additionally are actions - the morals are the important part.

She continues to amaze me every time I talk to her. So many people I know struggle because of their very traditional and often closed minded older members of their families, so it's so wonderful to see my grandmother as one of the most open and caring people I've ever met - primarily concerned for the health and happiness of her family and the people they love. It's those ideas that I love about the holidays. That's what it really means - to me, anyways.

Merry Christmas everyone!


On a lack of originality

Sometimes I certainly feel a little silly having a blog that is becoming nearly half populated with nothing but xkcd comics, but they're just so damn funny and sometimes a little too close to my nerdy real life.

Now this one is funny on its own, but even more so because I've actually had an experience where the line in the last panel was almost verbatim a part of the conversation! How crazy is that? (I happened to be on the receiving end of said line)

I've also gotten into the unfortunate habit that leaves me with a billion little 'thoughts' that I want to blog that live as drafts here. Well, I want to put my thoughts up here more and drafts less, so I've finally completed all the drafts I had so far, and hope to do it less often. Here are the completed posts:

12/06/2007: Floating on a raft with friends
12/03/2007: Sex... and hearing it
12/02/2007: No jalapenos please
11/18/2007: Victory
11/13/2007: Inspiration and dreaming
11/08/2007: Stale wine and morning breath
09/29/2007: A wonderful Coffey wedding
09/25/2007: Stream of consciousness

And now, I absolutely must sleep, because it's way later than I should be up right now. Oyasuminasai! Yoi yume o!


Floating on a raft with friends

There are often times where you're given the opportunity to step back, think about where you are and where you're going and really evaluate what's important. It's easy to think about, to speculate about and even to try and act on and make changes. Probably the easiest thing to do is to appeal to your immediate desires, but that often doesn't lead to the most happiness in the long run. But that may just be me, given how much I derive happiness from my friends, family, and people I care about.

Probably the most interesting and eloquent way I've heard anyone explain their views on what they want to do is strangely simple: "I just want to float down a river on a raft with friends". Elaborated on slightly, he wants to be able to spend time with the people that he cares about, doing things that both him and those people are excited about. That's quite a goal. I think I agree with that sentiment more than I originally realized. I want to be be around the people that I care about, be able to do awesome things with those people that are excited to do those things. There always has to be an aspect of selfishness and questions that pertain to only me, but overall, it's an interesting way to go about things. Simply put, good people create a great environment. So let's do what we can to thrive in it.

So smile, laugh, and tell the people you love that you love them :)

Backdated post - completed 12/12/07 01:08:00 AM


I'm a dork and proud of it

Amazingly, I haven't posted in a long time - not terribly surprising. The amazing thing is that I have about 10 blog 'drafts' that just haven't actually been detailed. Eventually. Until then, how about an xkcd comic?

That's what I think about all the people I care about who I don't see on a daily basis. I'm much more of a "see you in-person person" than an IM or phone person.

And, just to laugh: Halo 3 cheat codes, as explained by neglected girlfriend


Sex... and hearing it

Ok, so after writing this, I realize it can be read in many ways. As people know me - I've very blunt and open. This is in no way meant to be vulgar, but is simply my genuine thoughts finding their way onto the computer.

Without going into vastly unnecessary details, I stumbled into a situation (entirely accidentally) where I heard one of my friends having sex. This is in the context of a committed relationship by both people, and based off of the brief moments that situations, they are passionate, vigorous and loud. I'm not a pervert who searches for these moments (on the contrary, I'm very happy that they have found that and respect it), it just happened to make me think.

Anyways, the point is that it got me thinking about that kind of sex. The raw, passionate, animalistic kind of sex. The kind of sex that is based off of an emotional bond with so much trust that it becomes a exciting exploration of every part of each others' bodies surrounded with no elements of fear or self-consciousness. Where both people are trembling with sensations so strong it's impossible to vocalize except through the guttural responses their bodies do subconsciously and the occasional uttered word. Where the gentle caress of one's hands against the others' skin gives a memorable persistent stimulation. Where the hours of the night become an endless stream of two sweaty bodies everlastingly connected in desire through their their love and their passion. A night so long that it ends with two people so exhausted, sore and simply comfortable that they can do nothing but fall asleep in each other's arms, content to be there and no where else. That kind of experience amazes me to no end.

I miss that kind of sex.

Backdated post - completed 12/12/07 12:33:00 AM


No jalapenos please

I'm not sure I'm ever going to touch another jalapeno in my natural born life. >_<

The plans seemed innocent enough. Get nice and dressed up and go down to Drew and Jeff's place, do a little cooking and eating, and then go try out Chocolate Secrets, the new chocolate and wine bar that had jazz playing this Saturday. We chatted and sipped on wine while chicken was cooking and I grated cheese, chopped peppers, onions and jalapenos for some homemade fajitas. The rest of the crowd came while cooking and eating and a few of us relaxed and chatted in the living room. My contact was bothering me a little as I chatted with Dennis so I instinctively nudged my tear duct to get my eye to water a little. I felt a little tingle in my eye and realized that some jalapeno juice must have lingered on my hands after I had washed them. It was a tiny irritation, but I decided to walk to the kitchen and splash some water on it.

And then the fireworks started.

In the forty foot walk to the kitchen, the tiny tingle changed to an all out inferno, as I frantically (and blindly) cranked open the ice water to full and attempted to extinguish the fire on my eye. Almost immediately the feeling spread across my face so fast that it felt like someone had a flamethrower inches from my right eye. Next thing I know I'm desperately pawing at my face with my fingertips in an attempt to rip the plastic and freaking coat of napalm that made its home on the surface of my eyeball. The most fun part was that after ripping the devil contact out, the feeling of molten lava all over my face didn't go away. So what was I doing other than soaking my eyeball (yes, it's possible) in a glass of water to try and subside the insane amounts of pain. After about 10 minutes of this insanity and me face down in a glass of tap water, I decide to try and put the (now newly washed) contact back in, only to find that no amount of cleaning solution would take the evil coats of fiery death from it, so putting it back in just started the whole process of feeling like I was being punched in the face by the Human Torch.

I finally decided to forego the damn contact and throw the piece of solid hell I had created away, rendering me half-blind and disoriented for the rest of the night. Turned out to be a fun night full of chocolate, wine, drinks and goofy friends. But here's the kicker - when I finally made it back to my house around 3 am, I got ready to crash and tried to take out the single contact I had in, only to find that somehow, the damn juice from the jalapeno of a thousand suns still managed to persist on my hand!!! And thus started the whole mess all over again...

Die jalapenos, die.

Backdated post - completed 12/11/07 10:39:00 PM



For anyone that really knows the artist side of me, or has talked art with me at length may know my favorite statue: Winged Victory of Samothrace

I remember distinctly when I found it, too - it was the in my AP art class junior year of high school, and there was this giant, unbelievably heavy book full of art that we used to use as reference material. It was the very first picture in the book, as soon as you opened the cover, even before the table of contents. A picture of it straight on from the front, and it really just struck me. I did a detail piece of a section of the cloth that year that now hangs in my parent's house, and even got a chance to see it in person when I went to the Louvre with my family (beautifully framed at the center of the stairs).

Anyways - I was poking through Barnes and Noble with a few friends in Austin recently and came across a book of the pieces in the Louvre, and started reading about the statue's significance more. Interestingly enough, the statue actually depicts the Greek Goddess Nike, whose name translates to 'Victory'. I had a sudden epiphany with the realization that this statue I always associated with translates exactly as my name does (Vijay translates directly from Hindi to mean 'Victory' as well). Even more strange that it took me nine years to realize it haha.

Backdated post - completed 12/11/07 03:14:00 PM


Inspiration and dreaming

It really seems like the creative portion of my brain practically works like an on / off switch. When I'm a great mood, happy about work, friends and family, a relationship or anything like that, I feel much more inspired day to day. Looking around, I see interesting pieces of artwork, I see new photographs to be captured, I'm eager to tackle new things and face new challenges. I sketch and write more in my free time and am constantly getting new ideas. The world becomes more interesting to me, not unlike images from the movie aptly titled Waking Life. However, the most fascinating thing is that I start dreaming - vivid, different, fascinating dreams every night, some in fantastic places and some in the setting of this waking world. Now, I rarely remember my dreams, except for the hour or so after I wake up, so they are normally lost into the subconscious mind each day. But waking up from a night full of dreaming is always a good thing for me, since it's a discrete sign of an inspired phase for me, which is always exciting. I'm totally in one of those moods now.

On the subject of dreams, I remember a thought I had wanted to jot down, but totally forgot about. Directly related to this post, specifically thinking about how people view you. A good friend of mine here in Dallas (Amberle) recently graduated from college, and threw a party at Dennis' (her boyfriends') place. A couple weeks later, we were all out at a bar and she was telling me about a dream she had the night before (she has very vivid dreams, and are usually quite interesting).

It was her graduation party, and it was a much bigger event, with lots of friends and family there, all dressed up. When I came to the party, she said that she was really happy that all her family and friends were here and was having a great time. I also came with a bottle of champagne as a congratulations (which, that's the weird part - I actually almost walked out of my house to her real party with a bottle of champagne, but decided not to, in case I was the only one that brought anything), and then proceeded to give a toast congratulating her that she described as "really eloquent and beautiful, filled with metaphors for how her graduating symbolized her progress through life and was the first step to a lifetime of success and how happy we all were for her". (Go figure, I guess I'm eloquent in dreams :p) Then the party went outside and there was a giant empty hot tub, and she was sad that it was empty. And I said, "Haven't you ever soaked in a hot tub full of champagne?" and proceeded to pour the champagne into the hot tub (which magically filled the whole thing) and we all got in and soaked and laughed and goofed off. Dennis was on the other side of the hot tub with a girl all over him, and Amberle freaked, "OMG, who is that girl Dennis is with?!" to which I responded, "Uhm... that's his girlfriend" which came as a huge surprise to her. It was very strange in some ways, especially because she could describe almost everything in specific detail.

The thing that really strikes a chord with me is again thinking about how the people around you view you. Even more true when described from a more subconscious source like dreams. I found it really interesting that in Amberle's dream, I came across as a really genuine, caring, good friend in her time of happiness. I would definitely like to think that's how many of my friends see me. But have you ever sat down and tried to take a step back and 'watch yourself' when you're among your friends to see how you act and come across and how that compares to your own view of yourself? How about really looking at what you think / believe about your friends based off of your interactions with them - how similar or different is your view of them from their own view of themselves? How much of the things that you view about them is based off of assumptions you've made from their behavior and how much of it is based off of how they describe themselves to you? It's really interesting. I sometimes wish I could see exactly, totally uncensored, what my friends think of me. I'm sure there are differences in it and how I view myself.

Backdated post - completed 12/11/07 02:13:00 PM


Stale wine and morning breath

I had quite the fun and interesting weekend, I must say. I went down to Houston, and the drive back to Dallas always leads to a lot of mental self musing, since the drive is so bland. It was enlightening in a lot of ways - I feel like I got light on the whole "cycle of relationships" because of the people I got to hang out with, all in one weekend.

Start at the beginning of relationship land, high school love: I got to actually hang out with my ex girlfriend from high school (just post high school to be precise), who I haven't really seen for any substantial amount of time for at least a few years. We got to spend Saturday together and visit friends, goof off around Houston and just in general have fun seeing each other again - it made me remember a lot of memories of how you feel during that 'first dating' spark, about really just enjoying the company of the person that you're with, about really being with someone that you feel a connection with. The 'young love' phase of your life, when it's so easy to open up your heart without fear. The 'honeymoon' phase of dating, when nothing bad is on your mind because you're so giddy about the whole thing.

The next phase of course being marriage: for the first time since the wedding, I spent a good amount of time with my wonderful old friend Michelle and her new husband over the weekend. I got caught up on all the fun they had over the honeymoon and the great plans they were making together. Thinking no more just about their own life, but thinking of what they're excited about the family they're starting. Really enjoying the life of a married couple, but at the same time realizing the things that start to come with it - busy lives, taking care of each other, what it's like to really be around someone all the time. Totally excited and happy about everything that happening, dealing with the huge life change and eager about the huge life changes to come. Quite literally the 'honeymoon' phase.

Which takes us to the next big step, babies: I spent a fair amount of the weekend with another good friend, Alison and her cutie of a baby, Noah. We got to hang out at her house and in the park and we all took lots of pictures of her, Travis and Noah. Absolutely adorable - and it certainly brings clarity to a lot of what everyone goes through during the process of having a baby and starting to raise him / her. It's so easy for people to think about having a child and raising him / her as totally commonplace, overlooking the challenges that it brings. Of course for each of those challenges, there are so many beautiful moments - those moments of seeing them grow up, starting to make new steps in their lives - first words, first steps (first Halloweens ;p), and being able to experience that with another person that you love. Really working through big life changes with someone.

And on to the final, age: before going home, I went and spent some time with my grandmother on my father's side. Only my grandmother because my grandfather past away when I was pretty young. She is an amazing woman, and currently lives with my uncle in Houston, helping to raise his son and daughter. It amazes me to think about her life up until this point. Her and my grandfather had multiple children in India, raised them to be some amazing (and very different people), she moved here after my grandfather past away and the rest of the family was here, and helped to raise me as a child. It's so interesting to imagine her going through similar phases in life - being in love, getting married, having children. All in another time, ages ago. So much life there, so much experience, so much together with my grandfather, and then after his passing. I can't imagine how difficult that would be. And now she's helping to start everything again, raising children again (she actually has accidentally called my nephew Vijay, since he apparently acts like I used to as a kid). I hope that (many) years from now, I find myself in a similar situation - the full evolution of a relationship (of a family really) - living a long life, surrounded by family, spending time with grandchildren.

Time will tell, I'm sure.

I've also come to realize that I'm a very tactile person. I never really thought about it, but I absolutely am. I derive a lot of sensations from how something feels. There's such a huge range of tactile sensations - a giant hug from a good friend, or the feeling of curling up under the blanket on a cold day. Even more so, the huge range of responses you get while using your hands. Being rough with the weight and grip of rock climbing, the impact through your body when driving a nail into a new project, or the tingle in your fingertips from running them across guitar strings. Being gentle while discovering a new piece of soft fabric, running your hand through your very fluffy cat's fur, or the light touch against another person's skin. I love finding those new feelings, those new touches - each sensation unique and holding a distinct moment in my mind.

Backdated post - completed 12/10/07 10:52:00 PM


A wonderful Coffey wedding

How often do you get the chance to see one of the people that you've known and cared about for the majority of your life, someone that you've always cared about, someone who you have grown and changed with through thick and thin, how often do you get to see a person like that on one of the happiest days of their life, and be able to share that with them? I was lucky enough to see my wonderful, long time friend Michelle get married and begin a new life with her wonderful husband. See it through my eyes

I have to admit though, there was a certain amount of strangeness that came across me when I saw her start to come down the aisle. I immediately had a flash of images come over me - seeing her as Alice from Alice in Wonderland in elementary school, to working and goofing off in the art room in high school, filming a senior video, to being a shoulder to cry on, to long late conversations catching up on each other's lives over coffee and chocolate. It all flashed over me, and I finally really realized what was happening. And it was beautiful. In that moment, I was honored to not only be there for her wedding, and be able to experience that with her, but to have had her in my life, and to hope to continue to as the years go by.

And very humorously, about 5 seconds after the picture above was taken, she ran down the aisle with her new husband and looked at me and said (with a goofy smile on her face), "Well that was easy!" :D


I love you Shell, and wish you and Brandon all the best in the world - here's to many many years of your happiness together :)

Backdated post - completed 12/06/07 12:31:00 AM


Stream of consciousness

Just a warning, this is totally just a train of thought post - no warranties provided for the sense or lack thereof.

Have you ever come across those people in your day to day life that stand out - the kind of people that seem to be in focus from the cloud of the other billions of people you interact with in the world? I know that we've all found people in our lives that we connect with, that we feel comfortable with. That's one thing - we meet those people and gain trust, companionship over time. But those people that you run into almost arbitrarily, totally uneventfully that just inspire you. Those people always amaze me - and quite frankly, surprise me. Me and a few friends recently ended up at Cafe Brazil on a cool night out on the patio, packed at 3am after a night on the town. I remember being strangely contemplative, and as I looked around the crowd, I remember seeing one of those people that was sitting inside, surrounded by friends at a table that just 'stood out', almost jumped out of the crowd. I'm sure this random was nothing more than another person to everything there, but for some reason, the way that she interacted with the people around her, laughed, moved - something was ... fascinating. Those people always derive a strange curiosity out of me - what brought them there? What makes them smile? Laugh? Cry? Angry? An almost overcoming sense of fascination for other people tends to jump out at me when I find those people - it's odd that those experiences are few and far between.

We actually went out to a really cool bar that same night - Lee Harvey's, a really laid back, outdoor var that has a true "Austin" vibe to it. While just sitting around and talking, I had the opportunity to have some very interesting discussions with some of the friends I've made in Dallas. A friend of mine was going off about whether / when to call this girl that he was interested in that he was way over thinking, since he had been worrying about it nearly non-stop since they last talked, and I commented on it. In response, a friend (in a relationship with another friend) commented that was the problem with guys now, is that they don't actually think about how their girlfriends feel and just think about themselves. And I looked at her downright quizzically, partially because I usually consider myself on the opposite side of that spectrum (probably to a fault sometimes), partially because out of all the people there, she was the last person I would have expected to say that, and finally because it finally set in, in that very moment. All the friends I've made here in Dallas really don't know me at all. They have a cursory view of the person that I am when I'm out and goofing off, but they've never seen the person that I am when I'm in a relationship, or when I'm really happy with everything that's going on. They've rarely seen the person that I am when I'm inspired, and really driven, the person that is excited and... me? It was a very strange realization to come to, that the friends that I've made in Dallas, that I consider myself close to in some ways, have never even 'met me'.

Which of course drives the point home of what people we are now, how we've gotten here, and who we are bound to become. I mean, seriously think back to the person that you were 5 years ago. How similar were you to who are you today? Did you have the same goals, ambitions, dreams, worries, fears? What was constant in your life, and what was in complete flux? Who did you depend on and who were the people that entered and exited your life by the moment? What was really important to you? I bet most of those are totally different than how you would answer today. I know they are for me. How about 3 years ago? 1 year ago? 6 months ago? How quickly we change, but we let all of these little things stress us out about 'the moment' and what's happening in the present. I know I've changed a lot, but I've also been lucky enough to have people that have been in my life for a long time and have seen me go through these changes. Hell, I'm living with a friend that I've known for 16 years now! How freaking different was I when I was 10? I get a reminder of that every time I go home and see my old home, my parents, my family and my friends. I've changed - some of it I like, and some of it I really don't. More interestingly - how similar do you think you'll be in the next few years? How about your friends? What's your future persona like. Would you like him / her?

Almost every time I see my friends, the "why are you still single" card gets thrown out there (in various ways, depending upon who you talk to). And I finally realized why (one of many reasons, I'm sure). Most of my friends have said "my standards are too high", or that "I should just date everyone I find that I'm remotely attracted to", or various forms of that. What it really comes down to is what I mentioned before - "inspiration". I have such a strong association with those people that just are in focus across the blur of reality, that they tend to be the people that I get really passionate about, that I really want to meet, that just instantly inspire me to do more. I it very difficult for myself to really get into anything without that feeling, or that develops that feeling very quickly. Maybe I'm too picky, but in a different respect than most, but I love inspiration. It drives me, and always has. *shrugs*

Ok, I'm done - any post with this much text... needs a lolcat :p

Backdated post - completed 12/05/07 11:37:00 PM



Yay! So I got to see Incubus for the sixth time yesterday :) (twice at the Aerial in Houston, once in San Antonio, once in Austin, once at the Gypsy Tea Room (now gone) and now once at Smirnov). Absolutely my favorite band to see live. They always put on a spectacular show, hands down. We were at the front for the entire time, so I got plenty of cool pictures :)

I think I've enjoyed their music for so long because it feels like incredibly often, their songs relate directly to my life for so long. You know how certain songs always hold feelings of reminiscence? Well, although I have that with a ton of songs, the most come from Incubus - probably at least two on each record hold some sort of significance to when I first heard them, or when I jammed to them the most, or just some random memory that seems to have associated with them. So on top of hearing them play freakin' awesome music live, it's like a trip down memory lane, taking a random turn at each juncture dependent upon what songs they decided to play. Very cool.

I also had a reflective moment of introspection as Mike Einziger whipped out a banjo and started jamming out the intro riff to Aqueous Transmission to end the encore at the show. He obviously knew the song so well he could play it in his sleep, so he was just staring out into the crowd with a fascinated look on his face, wavering across the faces. I can only wonder what he was thinking at the time. It must be a pretty amazing feeling to look out among that many thousands of people staring right up at you, 'feeling' the music that you created, and cheering you on to do so.

I've only ever 'performed' like that once (if you can even call it that), back during an Orientation retreat where a friend and I jammed on a song for the talent show for fun. We did 'Everything you wan' by Vertical Horizon (this was a while ago, ok? :p) and I remember being absolutely amazed looking out on the crowd (of about 70+ people) at how much people related to it, and got lost in it as they sang the lyrics out to the people around them in the room. We weren't good, and I'm sure none of the crowd was singing in tune, but you know what? Noone seemed to care and everyone enjoyed it. That feeling that I'm so ineloquently trying to explain here is one I wish I cold replicate - and why I really wish I had the talent to sing and / or play the guitar better. Gives a desire to keep working at it though. For inspiration :)



Man, I love xkcd - one of the many things that just about always makes me laugh.

Wanna have an adventure? First line in how great stories start :)

Too many people haven't been having adventures in their lives - my list just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and I'm finally starting to plan out knocking some of them off. Here's a few

- Carve up more blue runs on a snowboard
- Go to Vegas with friends
- Make a weekend trip out to New Orleans
- Go to more wine tastings in Dallas
- Get a backpack (and maybe a friend) and hop on my bike and ride out to nowhere and see where I end up in a week. Then ride home.
- Do some real, climbing mountains rock climbing!
- Make some crazy awesome badass stuff every day (check!)

So what's your next adventure?


Apparently I suck at blogging.

Yup, that's me - I suck at blogging. Really is a shame, because I really do enjoy writing here. Well, to be honest, I enjoy writing in general. I'm going to really try to be better about putting more posts up here. I'd hate for it to go the way of my dream journal.

There was a point earlier this year where I was having very vivid dreams (and I still do, occasionally), and they were always really fascinating. So I went out and bought a dream journal (very appropriately covered with Morpheus, the king of dreams from Neil Gaiman's Sandman). Unfortunately, it has continued to be barren, not containing even a single entry. Maybe I'm just too lazy in the morning to do it. We'll see :p

Anyways, I digress. We've been crunching for the last week at work (which, I still assert that crunching at my current job is an absolute joke compared to crunch at other studios). Which of course means the real tiring out you do is totally voluntary. However, there is a lot to be done and not a lot of time to do it in, so it's been a busy week. That and we have one more week to go. What makes me sad is that, for the first time in a really long time, there are some games that I really want to play that are coming out, that I have to put on the side for now, until we finish crunching.

I was really looking forward to playing Bioshock, which came out last week, and actually surprised me quite a bit. In playing the demo, the world is absolutely beautiful not only in it's visuals, but also its story. The underwater city of Rapture is a fascinating place built off of political escape, and it produces a very compelling environment. I hope we start to see more hybrids of graphics and storytelling in the future. Hopefully my expectations aren't too high from the demo.

The other game I've really been looking forward to is Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. For anyone that has known my gamer side for any length of time, you know that I am a total Metroid fanboy. I think it derives from how much I enjoyed going through the original games on the NES and SNES. Super Metroid is still my personal "Best game of all time", especially for its time. So, I have been waiting for the new Metroid since I first played the original Metroid on the NES. The environments, the music, the adventure, the exploring aspect - Metroid is one of my personal heavens of gaming. It is also probably the series that I have replayed the most. I know that I've played through every single one multiple times, with the exception of Echoes. What excites me the most is that the controls are actually supposed to be very visceral on the Wii. I really hope it stands up to all the hype. I just know that when I'm playing a Metroid game, I tend to be totally pulled into the game play, and enjoy every minute of it. That's why this one makes me so sad that I'll have to wait to play it. (And avoid listening to other people's accounts of it).

That, and Samus is a hottie. There, I said it ;) Who said guys aren't attracted to strong women? lol

And, on a slightly more existential note, I'm always fascinated to hear and understand people's motivations for their actions, mine own included. Among my circle of friends, it's a topic of constant discussion, primarily because of Dave's incredible averseness to religion as a whole, and the fact that I tend to associate with very liberal people willing to entertain discussions of the sort. Some people are driven by their religion (or fear of it), some people are driven by their lack of religion, some driven by their morals, some driven by what they don't understand, and some who believe they are not driven, but are 'being' driven in the direction of fate.

Often in these discussions, people (Dave, in particular) tend to poke into my beliefs vehemently, since (for anyone who has seen me in these discussions) I tend to take the role of chameleon / devil's advocate / facilitator / therapist. Which actually tends to be a little bit more interesting at times (although maybe that's just for me). Maybe it's because subconsciously, I already know my beliefs, and so it's more interesting to hear other peoples. I dunno. Anyways, I digress.

People often ask me about my religious views, and my motivations, and in general, the closest I can get to is spiritual but not religious with a splash of agnostic. Most, if not all of my decisions are based off of the morals and views of right and wrong (although Dave doesn't believe in those either) that I was raised under. Which were, ironically enough instilled upon via with religious tones. That's a very simplistic notion of it, and certainly not without exception. I realize to some that sounds silly and hard to understand. (after all, something like belief in a higher power must be binary, right?)

A few things happened to me recently that solidified these beliefs to myself. Over the course of the last week, the following things were said to me: (each from someone that I consider close and respect)

You are a good person and a good friend. Thank you for everything...

Thank you. Thank you for actually being fair and not taking a side and not just making the negative assumptions that so many of our mutual friends seem to be.

[We] really struck gold when we found you.

So that. That's the reason that I do the things that I do day to day.



Alright, so here I am, on the night of the last day of my wonderfully fun and relaxing week long vacation in Captiva. It only seemed appropriate to blog about time. Certainly as the first few days passed while we were here, time was moving incredibly slowly, filling the days with time in the pool, tennis, cooking at the cottage, swimming in the ocean and of course, countless philosophical debates - yet only two days had passed. Surely the rest of the week would feel like forever! We could do everything we wanted! And yet, here we are, at the end of the week, trying to figure what on earth we managed that made the time fly by so quickly. Truth be told, I think most of the people are ready to head back, but it sure is nice to be able to sit out on the patio and enjoy the beautiful weather here. (Minus the mosquitos! Apparantly you really can't escape them, even by going to another state!

But what becomes far more fascinating than that is how we look at time on a broader scale (seriously? did you expect to read some post of mine that doesn't have some sort of existential undertones? :p). It's so easy to not realize where we're really spending your time. Something a close friend said really sums it up (I wish I could quote it directly, but the conversation is on my work machine) pertaining directly to the subject. It was something to the effect of, "Fuck not having enough time - the only live once here and we almost never spend time on the things that are really important to us. Sometimes we have to create time for those things, even if we can't 'fit them in' to our busy lives". Thanks Pat - you're always there for inspiration ;) And I tend to agree - so often we make the excuses - 'I just don't have time' and 'there are so many things I need to take care of' (myself certainly guilty). But you know what? We need to change to make sure that you're making time for the things that really are important. Just saying "I wish I was doing _____" or "I need to spend more time doing _____" or (worst of all) "Something I want to accomplish eventually is _____". Enough of that! Things like that need to be acted upon in the here and now. It's no reason to all of a sudden throw life into an upheaval, but to make sure that the time you spend outside of the necesseties are pushing towards those goals, those desires. I know it's something I intend to work on.

And even on a different note, think about the time that has already passed - the things that you certainly can't change. Personally, I can only speak for around 25 years of that time. And even then - if you know me at all, you know that my memory of my childhood is spotty at best. And not much better growing up. I think it's subconciously a reason I take so many pictures. Tangible memories. But seriously - think about where you were 1 year ago. What was your outlook back then? What was important to you? What things were you striving for? What was driving you? What were you excited about? What were you sad about? How similar were you to how you are now? How about 5 years ago? Really sit down and think about it. Personally, 5 years ago puts me in the middle of a summer after my second year in college, wide eyed and working like mad while goofing off with friends, living day to day, not even thinking about life after this 4 year long 'camp' with lots of classes. How about 10 years ago? Isn't it amazing how differently we can think in such short periods of time? It's really humbling when you think about it. Yet another thing I hope to keep in mind more often, as it pertains to me and the people I care about.

On a simpler note - two of the books I started and finished on this trip were Many Lives, Many Masters (recommended strongly by a friend), which turned out to be an incredibly fascinating read. I'll probably go back and re-read it later just for fun. And A Cat Named Darwin, which I randomly picked up at my favorite bookstore in the world, Bookpeople a few years ago, because, well, the kitty on the cover was cute, and it sounded interesting :) It actually turned out to be a much deeper and thought provoking read (not suprising since I was expecting a simple, shallow, vacation book. Needless to say, I really enjoyed it. So much so that I've already loaned it to someone else to read :p Oh, and for the video gamer in me, I totally went through Metroid: Zero Mission for the second time on hard mode, which proved to be (but of course) an absolutely phenominal glory of gaming splendor :)

Alright, it's time for bed. And then back to the world in Dallas and back to work on Monday. Nice and rejuvenated :)



Holy crap Veej! What're you doing? You just put a post up! Yeah well, this is substantially different, and just so cool that is warrants another post.

One thing that comes out of having Zach here as a roommate is that the intense videogame conversations are rampant around here. The industry is evolving and changing so much, it's always interesting to riff interesting ideas off of one another. After seeing Zach go through the entire Jak and Daxter series and chipping in my input when I could (such a great bunch of games!)

We got to chatting about how spectacular some of the voice acting and cinematography was in those games, and soon god on the topic of other games that acheived the same. Another example that came to mind (primarily because we were looking for a PSP copy of it) was Valkyrie Profile, which told a huge array of compelling stories in a sprite format - excellent RPG.

And of course, one of my personal favorites was Shadow of the Colossus, which is easily one of the most gorgeous pieces of art I've ever seen. Just talking about it has made me want to play it again. Right now.

But the really compelling one was a little game well known as one of "The best games noone played", Beyond Good and Evil, an absolutely astonishing game that really is different than a lot of the other games out there (especially for its time period, given that it was released in 2003). Not only does it have a compelling storyline unique from many of the trivial game plots out there, it's a game where you can genuinely care about your characters and motivations. Jade is a powerful female protagonist (whose breasts aren't the sizes of watermelons! *gasp*!) that is a joy to play. It really is the closest thing I've seen to a movie, game, and art piece combined. I sit here, watching Zach play it again (for the 3rd time, I believe), imploring and begging you to go to your closest game store and buy a copy for the 10 bucks they're selling it for, since not enough people buy it (and trust me, it's there - we stumbled across about 20 copies while looking for Valkyrie Profile). It's a game that at least starts to prove where video games have been trying to head for a long time.

In fact, the reason I started typing this whole thing up was because of this really interesting article about why Beyond Good and Evil didn't succeed that I highly recommend reading.

It really is games like these last two that are really what excites me about being in the industry and where we're going. I hope that one day, before I leave the industry (in one way or another), that I can say I've created a piece of art that is as compelling and unique as one of those games. I know there are some people that want to work on similar things, and I hope I get the oppurtunity, because it seems like too many people don't realize what games could and have become. I wish that more people could appreciate games like Shadow of the Colossus and Beyond Good and Evil than the small groups of people that have played them.

"Let them know the truth about gaming: innovation hasn’t died; it just doesn’t always share the same amount of shelf space as mediocrity."



Food really is a wonderful thing - it's quite a bit more than just fuel. On that note - if you haven't already, go see Ratatouille - go see it right now, because it really is pretty damn wonderful. I'm already thinking about going and seeing it again I enjoyed it so much. The ending portions of it were so ridiculously funny and cute I was nearly crying from laughing so hard :p

Remy and I, we love cheese :)

Anyways - back to my point. Something I've realized again recently - food is not only delectably delicious, but also a powerful form of expression and 'social glue', as it were. The most fun times I've had in the last few months have been in the random times when me and my friends have all gotten together at someones house and either BBQ ed, or just kicked back with a home cooked dinner and a movie. Few things are as nice as a summer night out on the porch with a glass of wine, friends and fresh Indian food (I have my folks to thank for that night of deliciousness). On the other end of the spectrum, throwing together, seasoning and cooking a giant steak with a bunch of friends and some beers is just as much fun :p

Giant Chateau Brianne steak - SO good it was eaten off the cutting board

Just cooking at home has been a lot of fun too - homemade food just tastes so much better and is damn fun to prepare. I had forgotten how satisfying it is, since I haven't really done much since college. I've even started to furnish out my kitchen with more appropriate tools to cook with :) Most recently, I tried out a few new recipes (thanks Zach and Ciri for tasting!) which included: Gouda and artichoke bruschetta, stuffed chicken with a spinach and Gouda blend, lyonnaise potatoes, and a caramelized fruit cup parfait. Yum! They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach - I just didn't expect to be winning my own lol.

I have a soft spot for artichoke. Yum!

It also seems that in many ways, we do turn into our parents. Clearly not in all ways, but definitely in some. Why the weird parental comment? It kind of came to me when Zach and Ciri were chilling out at the house playing guitar hero, and the hummus I had made for a party the week before came up, and I decided to whip up a batch. A little while later, there I am, wandering out of the kitchen with a giant bowl of way too much hummus, fresh toasted pita bread, crackers, slices of salami and fresh slices of Gouda... (if any of you know my mother, you understand the point of this story). To top it all off, while relaxing on the couch watching them play, Ciri turns and makes fun of me, stating the obvious - "I love how you're actively cutting up new slices of cheese this entire time." And sure enough, there I am, cheese slicer and a slab of Gouda in my hand, mentally screaming to myself, "Holy freaking crap! I've turned into my mother!" Which, I suppose if this comes with the amazing ability to cook the best Indian food in the known universe, I can live with that :D

Homemade hummus is pure solid deliciousness.



Sara: I've always believed in fate. I've always believed that life is more than a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. But rather, a tapestry of events that culminate into an exquisite plan. I mean, I just spent the entire flight staring into the sky thinking. Not about my fiance, but about this mystery guy I met a million and a half hours ago. A guy I don't even remember except for this vague picture inside my head. It's just a few seconds, a fragment really, and it's like, in that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together. We spent only a few precious hours together and I never even gave him my last name or my phone number. Instead, I told him that if we were meant to be together, if fate meant for us to be together, we'd meet again someday. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm going to let fate take me anywhere it wants to go, because when all of this is over, atleast I'll never have to think of him ever again. Let's just pray he's a bald Fascist who picks his nose and wipes it under the car seat. - Serendipity

J.D.: Shut up, shut up, shut up and shut up, okay? Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do is bitch about your relationships all day long. (to Dr. Cox) And you know what glare all you want Big Dog, okay, because I'm not afraid of you. "Oh no, Jordan's only paying attention to the baby." That must be so hard for Dr. Look-At-Me, isn't it? LOOK-AT-MEEEE. (to Carla and Turk) And you two, you're arguing ever since you got engaged, wow you're probably the first couple that's ever done that EVER. It can't be that you're just scared is it? (to Elliot) And you, you know what, let's just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, because for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort you guys is while I'm sitting at home staring at the ceiling just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are. - Scrubs

Dr. Cox: Relationships don't work the way they do on television or in the movies. Will they, won't they, then they finally do and they live happily ever after, give me a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with and half the ones that get married get divorced anyway. And through all of this, I have not become a cynic; I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is primarily about pushing chocolate covered candies and, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do... believe in it. Bottom line, the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship, if it's right and they're real lucky... one of them will say something. - Scrubs

Courtesy of xkcd


Random quote

Too cool to not post.

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin."
- Anonymous


On these suuummmeeeer niiiiiiiiiiiiiights

It's been raining here in Dallas the last few days and supposed to stay like that for the next few days. What does that make but spectacular nights to sit on a balcony out under the stars with nothing more than some nature surrounding you and the quiet chime of my laptop speakers pushing out some music only I can hear. It's like camping out :) Absolutely gorgeous - if I didn't have other committments, I'd stay out here until sunrise.

Also - amazingly, a new band has taken the top of my "best performers" list. And that is Switchfoot. I saw them at the Gypsy Tea Room this past Sunday - I've never seen a band so passionate about playing, about pulling the crowd into their story, about making the whole night an 'experience', not just a show. I think they honestly were having more fun than everyone else there (and we were all having a blast!) On top of all that - the music they have is spectacular. The lead singer's voice is totally amazing. I've been listening to their music a lot now. AMAZING. Check out my flickr set on them: Switchfoot. It really is a shame I didn't bring my actual camera, so my phone pics have to suffice. Needless to say, it was spectacular, and I'll be catching them next time they tour anywhere around here. :)


Happy Valentine's Day!

Brought to you by xkcd.


To the strangest Valentine's Day ever - someone upstairs has quite a sense of humor - haha :p


I <3 the web

There's a really interesting video on Web 2.0, and its potential to change how we use the internet. Really fascinating stuff - well worth the 5 minutes.

It's this kind of stuff that's really inspiring about what we can do and how we will soon be able to share information. As more and more sites start adopting it, the results start to become pretty remarkable really quickly. Take for example these three sites (linked on my sidebar for a while now): Flikcr Tag Browser - a site that allows you to search through millions of flickr photos via a tag surfing interface, We Feel Fine - a site that searches the internet for 'feelings' and indexes them together in a variety of ways - ever wonder what other people around your age feel like in your area?, or Love Lines - where the whole spectrum of emotions ranging from "I love..." to "I hate..." are gathered together from the internet in one place.

Proof of all of this? Because the Flikcr Tag Browser always has new pics first, I poke around it every few days. While chatting w/ Paul about this Web 2.0 stuff, I fired it up and searched for "Love". Guess what came up in the first few pictures?

That's awesome stuff.


Musings. Dreams.

My oh my, what a bizarre month it's been. Honestly, thinking back to the beginning of January breaking in the New Year in a bar in Keystone seems like a lifetime away.

A month jam packed with concerts, work, road trips to Houston, trying to help a friend through a divorce, going out with friends occasionally, and what feels like everything in between. The real thing that hurt was the amount of anguish that I found. Not in my personal experiences, but with the people that I care about (and grew to care about). In virtually everyone that I knew trying to find happiness with someone, all I saw was people getting hurt. And even then, that ranged from a friend in his thirties all the way to a friend who's twenty, from a serious marriage falling apart to the emotional scars of a college relationship. Just seeing so much of it happen all at the same time can be incredibly disillusioning. It's just odd - a part of me really feels like I'm filming the first half of a cheesy romantic comedy (because it really does feel like I'm a spectator) - where everyone involved gets hurt horribly in their current relationship, and cries their tears. Only to wait for the seond half of the movie, where each of the multitude of stories intertwine, and every person involved finds their happiness (think Love Actually). So... why isn't the second half coming?

Something that's been really strange this month is that I've started to dream again. Not the deep, vivid dreams that previal through the night and vanish as the daybreak comes - which, if you've ever spoken with me about it, you know that I almost never remember my dreams. Poof - the morning comes and they're gone. So why - I wonder - have I all of a sudden started dreaming vividly and remembering virtually every moment of them days afterwards? It's incredibly strange and something I'm not used to at all, especially because it literally 'turned on' one day, and has just stayed that way since. In a lot of ways, it's incredibly fascinating - to be able to remember.
I've been meaning to keep a dream journal, out of my own curiousity - I'm thinking of keeping them here - just because, well, what better place to dump my brain?

For some reason I remember pieces of this first dream vividly, even weeks after I had it.

I'm not sure how the whole thing started, but I remember getting a phone call from a friend and talking to her for a while. She told me she was pregnant, in a strangely non-chalant sort of way. That the bastard guy who had done it had lied about being sterile. I remember throwing together a few things into a bag and driving over to her house. I met up with her there and went into her room and I held her and we just laid there and talked until we both fell asleep. Somehow morning came and I remember sitting on a bench seat at a breakfast table with my backpack next to me and her father on the other end of the bench seat and a few other people across the table. She was around the corner in a bedroom, telling her mother what had happened. Her father had a smug ear-to-ear grin on his face that screamed "just you wait until she comes back and kicks you the hell out of here". He seemed very pleased and eager at the thought of me being forced to leave. Amazingly this entire exchange happened without speaking a word. What felt like ages went by, and she eventually came and sat next to me, putting me between her and her father. Slowly but calmly she told him, in something to the effect of, "Daddy... I'm pregnant". His grin fairly suddenly changed to a look of rage directed squarely at me. I don't know if I was caught off guard or what, but the only words I could come up with were, "It wasn't me! I didn't do it!" The kind of statement where you realize you're sounding like you're an idiot before you even complete the statement. She calmed him down and the anger subsided to a "I can't believe my daughter isn't throwing this guy out" glare at me. I remember her talking to him for a while, not in an angry way, but in a lengthy way. The next thing I remember, her father has left and she is peacefully lying on her back on the bench, and I'm sitting next to her, half lying down next to her, with her shirt partially raised, one ear gently pressed against her stomach. Just listening... for something...

And then I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing on the nightstand - confused as heck.

I guess really, it's not surprising at all, it makes a lot of sense when you piece it together with what I was doing at the time. It happened to be on one of the weekends earlier this month (the night of the 13th, I believe) when I was in Houston working on the mural I'm painting for a close friend who is pregnant. And before I had gone to bed, I was chatting with a friend that appeared in the dream. So I guess it really was just my brain putting together thoughts into some sense of coherency. But let me tell you how strange it was to wake up from a dream, in a strange bed, trying to figure out why I remembered it all. Very strange. I really do love being able to remember though. Now I only wish I could take some of those memories and put them on paper. Maybe once this mural is all done, I'll start sketching again.

Anyways - speaking of which, many people want to know what the heck I'm actually painting all the way in Houston, and as Sean has always said when he used to read this, "Your posts are always like freaking novels - I get bored unless there are some pictures." Well, here's a picture of what some of the mural is starting to look like - hopefully it'll be closer to completed soon:

And you know what? Just cuz this needs more pictures to compensate for all the text - here's two awesome xkcd comics:

And probably my favorite one, and also the nerdiest:

Wow, if you really read all that, you deserve something for your time. Either that or you're immensely bored. :p


It's pretty much the worst possible news.

I am so pissed off at the world right now!!! Sometimes you look at everything that's going on and it just doesn't make sense! There's not a sense of right, of everything being ok, but the entire opposite! Like any sort of fairness, or karma, or justice, or whatever the hell you want to call it is just non-existent! ARGH! It just makes me want to scream!

And for anyone that may actually read this - I'm fine. This is regarding something a friend is going through, but still is insanely frustrating. Elaboration when I'm at a computer for more than 10 seconds.


The present.

As seems to happen often, I got an email from my mother some time ago with a random powerpoint attachment. I watched it while at work when I got it (months ago actually) and it was... good. I didn't feel the urge to email it to everyone I've ever known, but I had been meaning to post the text here at least.

We convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married, have a baby, then another.

Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older.

Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.

We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.

The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.

If not, then when?

Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life.

But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.

I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.

That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness.

Happiness IS the road.

So, enjoy every moment.

Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn... before deciding to be happy.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination.

There is no better time to be happy than... NOW!

Live and enjoy the moment.

-Author unknown

Now, think and try to answer these questions:
1 – Name the 5 richest people in the world.
2 – Name the last 5 Miss Universe winners.
3 – Name the last 10 Nobel Prize winners.
4 – Name the last 10 winners of the Best Actor Oscar.

Can’t do it? Rather difficult, isn’t it?

Don’t worry, nobody remembers that.

Applause dies away!

Trophies gather dust!

Winners are soon forgotten.

Now answer these questions:

1 – Name 3 teachers who contributed to your education.
2 – Name 3 friends who helped you in your hour of need.
3 – Think of a few people who made you feel special.
4 – Name 5 people that you like to spend time with.

More manageable? It’s easier, isn’t it?

The people who mean something to your life are not rated "the best", don’t have the most money, haven’t won the greatest prizes...

They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by.

Think about it for a moment.

Life is very short!

And you, in which list are you? Don’t know?

Let me give you a hand.

You are not among the most "famous", but among those to whom I remember to send this message...

Some time ago, at the Seattle Olympics, nine athletes, all mentally or physically challenged, were standing on the start line for the 100 m race.

The gun fired and the race began. Not everyone was running, but everyone wanted to participate and win.

They ran in threes, a boy tripped and fell, did a few somersaults and started crying.

The other eight heard him crying.

They slowed down and looked behind them.

They stopped and came back... All of them...

A girl with Down’s Syndrome sat down next to him, hugged him and asked, "Feeling better now?"
Then, all nine walked shoulder to shoulder to the finish line.

The whole crowd stood up and applauded. And the applause lasted a very long time...

People who witnessed this still talk about it.


Because deep down inside us, we all know that the most important thing in life is much more than winning for ourselves.

The most important thing in this life is to help others to win. Even if that means slowing down and changing our own race.

If you send this email, perhaps we will succeed in changing our heart, perhaps someone else’s heart, as well...

"A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one."

So, what have you decided? Trash this or send it?


Just too humorous not to post

A conversation with an old friend regarding a rhetorical social dilemna...

Me: so what's the solution?
Him: Two parts water, one part concentrated muratic acid.
Me: you're an over saturated level of chemistry humor
Him: No, seriously. Clean up your act.
Me: eh?
Him: (that's a cleaning solution)
Me: >_<
Him: Ha! Multi-tiered humour!
Me: good god, I'd forgotten what insanely over-intellectual humor was like
Him: Heh heh. Butts.
Me: ...
Me: wow
Me: I stand corrected


Him: Heh.... screw hope. It just leaves one let down.
Me: wow
Me: what an overflow of pessimism
Me: or realism, depending on who you're talking to
Him: You know me, the ray of sunshine that leaves you blinded long enough to fall down three flights of stairs.
Me: hm.
Me: only three
Me: you've gotten soft in your old age
Him: I blame osteoperosis.
Me: pssssh


Him: Me, I don't take a lot to be happy in a relationship.
Him: Mostly because I don't hope for a lot.
Me: ok
Me: then what do you take?
Him: Two creams, no sugar.
Me: ...
Him: Damnit, you've got me in wordplay mode, and I can't give a straight answer to save my life.
Me: le sigh
Me: hahaha
Me: it's like some sick training for you, isn't it!
Him: It's true.


Him: There is a point in the night where shots start sounding like a good idea. That's usually when you know you've had enough. Unfortunately, shots sound like a good idea.
Me: hahah
Me: quite astute
Him: You know how much I love my nerddom.
Me: just a tiny bit
Him: We started the night playing a prime factorization drinking game.
Me: ....
Me: no way
Me: how does that even work?
Him: This led to my quick decline into inebriation.
Me: seriously - what the hell is a prime factorization drinking game?
Him: Mike had a random number generator. He called it out; the four participants factored as quickly as possible. The first one to get it right got to assign a number of drinks equal to the number of factors -- all factors, not just unique factors.
Him: The sum of the exponents in the prime expansion.
Him: If it was prime, you got three drinks to assign.
Me: oh
Me: my
Me: god
Me: that is by far, without a doubt, THE nerdiest drinking game ever invented
Him: It can get nerdier.
Him: I proposed one that no one wanted to play.
Him: You know the game Buzz?
Me: no...?
Him: First you choose a number, like seven. Then you start counting off. Except every number containing a seven or is a multiple of seven must be replaced by "buzz", or you take a drink.
Him: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, buzz, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, buzz, and so on.
Me: yikes o_O
Me: and how long does that go?
Him: Now, play that with the periodic table instead of numbers.
Me: until they're passed out? o.O
Me: ...
Me: whaaaaaaa?
Him: Yeah... no one wanted to play that with me.
Me: ... wait - HOW?
Him: hydrogen, helium, lithium, berylium, boron, carbon, buzz, oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium, aluminum, buzz, phosphorus, sulphur, buzz, argon, potassium, calcium, buzz, and so on.
Him: By atomic number.
Me: ...
Me: holy freaking crap
Me: first you'd have to have the damn thing memorized to even play! >_<
Him: Yeah.....


Sometimes I wonder...

If the world would be a more interesting or better place if it wasn't so f***ed up. It seems recently more often than not, I've come across situations that just astonish me on how bad and how difficult things are, or can be for the people in my life to just live day to day. Is it because I've always just sheltered myself from it in the past? Have I just always drowned myself in reckless optimism about the world? Am I just seeing things in a different light? Or am I just coming across a stream of people who happen to be in rough times in their lives? It kills me to see people struggle and fight like this when everything points to the fact that they don't deserve to have these things happen - that good things should happen to good people - people with good hearts. Is that such a damn wrong belief to have?

blah! Although I've seen a multitude of both cases, even recently, and seen people become better people through their struggles most of the time, (even happening with one friend right now), I'm in a slightly more 'blah' mood regarding it at this immediate moment.



I just want to save the world...

is that so wrong?