Flash of a weekend

Busy busy busybody. I got the chance to make a super fast trip down to Austin - half business and half pleasure. Certainly worth the trip, but far too short.

I even tracked my ride with my N810 and plotted some of the data - pretty interesting, you can see when I got frustrated and just wanted to be home, when I was just cruising, etc. I was certainly surprised just how much the speed varies on the bike. I'm sure graphs in the car would look very different

Dallas to Austin:


Austin to Dallas:


And yes... I'm horrible - I speed too much on the bike - I'm usually better about that, but I was exhausted this weekend and wanted both drives to be over as soon as I got on the road.

Anyways, I digress - the weekend reminded me of many things - primarily how much I need to be spending my free time with the people that I care about, and doing the things I really enjoy. I was in Austin for less than 48 hours, but had the chance to see near a dozen old friends and had the chance to laugh so hard I cried, sit around and theorize about future prospects, and just sit and play some video games, remembering how nice it was to enjoy the simple pleasures :)

I would love to be more verbose as I normally do, but I'm as exhausted as ever with all the crunch from work, so it's time to pass out. On a closing note - to all my friends and family - I love you all very much, and I know I don't say it often enough, but I really do appreciate all you do for me :)

Amazing.

A SHORT LOVE STORY IN STOP MOTION from Carlos Lascano on Vimeo.

Perspective

It's an interesting thing, perspective - something you've always got, but in a constant state of change. My perspective on a lot of things has changed pretty rapidly in the last few years - coming to realizations about my upbringing, my attitudes and my passions.

I remember growing up as a child in a cozy little house with loving parents - I have memories of a home that I loved - a room all my own that I got to spend my whole childhood in, a solid group of friends without a constant change of scenery. I remember my dad telling me, "We have the money to get anything you want, but you should only get the things you need." I remember working on cars and electronics with him, learning how everything in the world around us worked. I remember going to temple where I learned morals and values from my mother and other family friends, and disagreeing with my parents' strong religious views.

But what we see as a child is so different that an adult in hindsight. I spoke with my parents a few years ago about how much I loved the fact that we stayed in a cozy little house for so long without moving around all the time, only to hear, "Honey, we did that because we couldn't afford to move." Realizing that the computer my dad bought when I was just old enough to reach a keyboard was a huge investment for them, but important that my sister and I were aware of the cutting edge. Learning that while I got the passion to learn how things work from my dad, I also got the desire to be as independent as possible. To never pay someone else for a job you could do yourself. Something he did because he was forced into, while oftentimes, I'm not. Understandting that my parents and I are have always been on more similar pages on religion than I ever thought, focusing on being a good person and less on the specific path there. They just picked a religion to get those ideals across and related me pulling away from parts as a pulling away from those ideals, which coudln't be farther from the truth.

We are certainly nothing if not the sum of our experiences. One thing I guess I didn't realize before though is how much those same experinces can remold the person that you are as you see them from a different angle. The real difficulty, I think, comes in how malleable, how willing you are to let those experiences change you into becoming something new.

Yarrrr!

Yarrrr there matey's! It be national talk like a pirate day! So avast ye scallywags and shiver ye timbers and go out and share some grog with yer mates!

Fer ya single lads and lasses, 'eres some help on yer quest fer booty!

lol!

Ha! I found it! For anyone who doesn't understand the title of my last post, it looks like someone (fairly recently) finally posted it on youtube. I've been looking for this for ages. hehehe

I fear change, and will keep my bushes.

Change is certainly a tricky little bastard. It's probably the only thing that we widely accept will always be around, and yet it seems to sneak up behind you with a swift kick in the ass when you least expect it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've had these whirlwinds of event happen to me before, but I think this one takes the cake. Specifically, in the last month, I've lost my girlfriend, my two roommates, my parents (in a manner of speaking, they're moving out of the country), and my job.

No need to panic, that last comment was purely for melodramatic effect. I actually find the summation of it all so ricidulous in its timing I can't help but laugh when I recount it.

It has, however, put me into quite a self-reflective state, trying to take this "life reset" of sorts to heart. I think my friend put it best - "It's like your fresh out of college again, and can go do anything." Asking what you should be asking yourself all along the way: What is it that you want to do with your life?

With the job situation, we were left with a pretty slick severance package thanks to the effort of the management of the studio, which opened a good many opportunities for people. Left and right, coworkers and friends around me dive headfirst into risk and oppurtunity. Following their dreams, be it ambitions of money, of that one game they've always wanted to make, of spending time with their families, or of travelling the world around us.

So I sit down to think about what it is that I want to do given the chance for a fresh start, which of the numerous dreams and ambitions I've had in the past to follow?

...

And nothing happens. Nothing. Have I really become so entrenched in this day-to-day world that I've made for myself that's so far away from where I actually feel like myself that I can't even figure out what drives me anymore?

What's number one? Is it to make the "great american video game"? Is it to lead people to do so? Is it to be led and learn? Is it to be my own businessman? Is it to take the steps to start a family? Is it to start a karate school? Is it to go back to school? Is it to absorb all the knowledge I'm curious of? Is it to become a professor? Is it to do everything I can to help those I care about? Is it to get the heck out of Dallas? Is it to get the heck out of this country and see what the rest of the world is? Is it to reconnect with my culture?

So many questions, and nothing pulling in any direction. One of my largest personality flaws is that I often take the path of least resistance, and there is one available, to work with some amazing talent with a simply ubelievable professional opportunity at a start up in Dallas. I can't make that decision because its the easy one. If I decide to go there, it needs to be my passion that pushes me there. The clock is ticking there.

I have no idea where this is going to take me or how I'll get there. The only thing I'm sure of is that this is the chance to start over, a rebirth in many ways, and I need to treat it like that, no matter what I do.