Inspiration and dreaming

It really seems like the creative portion of my brain practically works like an on / off switch. When I'm a great mood, happy about work, friends and family, a relationship or anything like that, I feel much more inspired day to day. Looking around, I see interesting pieces of artwork, I see new photographs to be captured, I'm eager to tackle new things and face new challenges. I sketch and write more in my free time and am constantly getting new ideas. The world becomes more interesting to me, not unlike images from the movie aptly titled Waking Life. However, the most fascinating thing is that I start dreaming - vivid, different, fascinating dreams every night, some in fantastic places and some in the setting of this waking world. Now, I rarely remember my dreams, except for the hour or so after I wake up, so they are normally lost into the subconscious mind each day. But waking up from a night full of dreaming is always a good thing for me, since it's a discrete sign of an inspired phase for me, which is always exciting. I'm totally in one of those moods now.

On the subject of dreams, I remember a thought I had wanted to jot down, but totally forgot about. Directly related to this post, specifically thinking about how people view you. A good friend of mine here in Dallas (Amberle) recently graduated from college, and threw a party at Dennis' (her boyfriends') place. A couple weeks later, we were all out at a bar and she was telling me about a dream she had the night before (she has very vivid dreams, and are usually quite interesting).

It was her graduation party, and it was a much bigger event, with lots of friends and family there, all dressed up. When I came to the party, she said that she was really happy that all her family and friends were here and was having a great time. I also came with a bottle of champagne as a congratulations (which, that's the weird part - I actually almost walked out of my house to her real party with a bottle of champagne, but decided not to, in case I was the only one that brought anything), and then proceeded to give a toast congratulating her that she described as "really eloquent and beautiful, filled with metaphors for how her graduating symbolized her progress through life and was the first step to a lifetime of success and how happy we all were for her". (Go figure, I guess I'm eloquent in dreams :p) Then the party went outside and there was a giant empty hot tub, and she was sad that it was empty. And I said, "Haven't you ever soaked in a hot tub full of champagne?" and proceeded to pour the champagne into the hot tub (which magically filled the whole thing) and we all got in and soaked and laughed and goofed off. Dennis was on the other side of the hot tub with a girl all over him, and Amberle freaked, "OMG, who is that girl Dennis is with?!" to which I responded, "Uhm... that's his girlfriend" which came as a huge surprise to her. It was very strange in some ways, especially because she could describe almost everything in specific detail.

The thing that really strikes a chord with me is again thinking about how the people around you view you. Even more true when described from a more subconscious source like dreams. I found it really interesting that in Amberle's dream, I came across as a really genuine, caring, good friend in her time of happiness. I would definitely like to think that's how many of my friends see me. But have you ever sat down and tried to take a step back and 'watch yourself' when you're among your friends to see how you act and come across and how that compares to your own view of yourself? How about really looking at what you think / believe about your friends based off of your interactions with them - how similar or different is your view of them from their own view of themselves? How much of the things that you view about them is based off of assumptions you've made from their behavior and how much of it is based off of how they describe themselves to you? It's really interesting. I sometimes wish I could see exactly, totally uncensored, what my friends think of me. I'm sure there are differences in it and how I view myself.

Backdated post - completed 12/11/07 02:13:00 PM

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