3/27/2004

Goddamnit

I'm sick of all this SHIT. I've gotten myself into a thousand different projects, I can't possibly get them all done, and every five seconds some other stress comes up. I've run out of places to turn and releases for my stresses and inspirations. My muse has disintegrated into a bloody pile of nothingness and refuses to come out. I hate who I am and who I'm becoming, and I'm almost a "real adult" out of college. Whee. I remember more and more how I used to feel in the past, where nobody understood a whit of me, because I don't understand myself a bit anymore. I'm not who I used to be, and I feel like everything I learned and used to be in the past has been thrown away and I'm starting from scratch everyday. I got to the point where I looked in the mirror and I don't even recognize the person that appears, and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm just not happy anymore.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! O_O

I am who I am, but that doesn't seem to be good enough.

anyways, I'm going to try and convince myself to continue working, especially since I have tests coming up.

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