Same story, different audience

chance to catch up with a close friend that I haven't seen in a really long time. Turns out that he's had his share of drama recently - a lot of pain and heartache that taking risks with your heart can often lead to. I had never really talked to him about that sort of stuff before, and he happened to be dealing with something that he drew parallels to my past.

I had really underestimated the differences between going through these stories - these experiences, these troubles yourself, and seeing people you care about going through them. When it's your problem to deal with, it's so easy to be strong - to fight your way through it, to 'tough it out'. After all, it's your problem to work through, right? Of course you rely on your friends, your family, your loved ones - draw support from the structures around you, but in the end, you're the one who has to work past it. To make the decision to go through the hard times for the greener fields on the other side. I never really expected that to be the easy part.

But hearing a close friend, someone you really care about, someone you want to see happy going through similar struggles? That hurts. To see them really struggling and fighting through it in their own ways - knowing full well that you can help, offer support, do what you can to alleviate the effect of the whole experience, to just be a sounding board sometimes, knowing full well that when push comes to shove, they'll make the final step on their own? That sucks. A lot. It might be a lot of the personality I (and a lot of my friends) have - the 'parental' personality trait that makes you want to improve peoples lives', (sometimes - hell, oftentimes so much that it's a personality fault). But it is a lot harder when it strikes a chord that's so familiar to your own life - hearing those exact same phrases, those exact same thoughts that you thought yourself echoed. Love... forever... if only... it made me realize... I wish... I really thought... Knowing full well that they will make it through the process, but that it's a tough road. A part of me wouldn't wish that upon anyone, and another part hopes that everyone gets the chance to experience something similar in their life at least once. Seeing a friend go through it is damn tough.

Especially when they draw the parallels themselves, "I gained a whole new respect for you after this. When you had to go through the same things, I never realized how hard it must have been for you and I can't believe how well you handled it."

That's the thing man, I didn't handle it that well back then. But I'm confident you will.

Backdated post - completed 12/20/07 02:25:00 AM

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