Musings
It's been a long time since I was able to sit down and listen to music, not just as background noise.
Take me over when I'm gone
I had forgotten how much it inspires me, even it it's just to sit back and think. I've been doing a lot of that recently.
Take me over when I'm strong
Not totally sure why, but I really miss it. I think that may just be because there are a lot of parts of my life that I haven't been in touch with that I miss. I'm on the way back from Tony's wedding, the second of my friends to have gotten married recently. (Congrats Tony and Kate!)
Spending time with my old friends really reminds me of how much I miss all of them. Maybe it's that I miss the
You're just in sight, will you save my life again.
time where we were all within 10 miles of each other and the idea of all of us getting together and crashing at someone's house on any given night was only a few phone calls away.
Spending time with all of my friends and really thinking about the past I've had with them (and how long it's been) and the future to come is really sobering at times. I'd like to have more get togethers with everyone more often (maybe even not because of a wedding, but just because, as per Tony's suggestion). It also brings an interesting sense of mortality to the surface,
Cause I can't stand up, but I can't fall down, cause I'm somewhere in the middle.
which I'm not sure is brought upon by our relative ages and maturity (or lack thereof) or because of the fact that Sean could actually be deployed at any given moment. Sent to another country to fight, possibly to the death. It just seems to surreal. Or it may be because of my own events. For those that don't know, I bought a motorcycle. 16 days later I totalled it.
I'm coming round to open the blind. You can't hide any longer. My god you need to rinse those puffy eyes.
Thank god I was wearing all my gear. To make a long story short, I took a turn, and a combination of slick tires, a steeply sloped road (unbeknownst to me at the time) and inexperience caused my back tire to slip and wreck into a curb. Just some rash of my arm - all healed up now, but I see the sight of the curb coming towards me, sideways, while I was on the bike sliding against the road every time I get on my new bike. Much more careful this time.
Why did I choose to play this game, this goes too far I'll take no more.
Are you happy? Are you doing the things that you wanted to be going when you were here in your life? If you died now, would you be satisfied with where your life had taken you up until this point? We dwell too damn much on the little stupid things in life. Myself probably being one of the worst out there.
I bought some manga while in Palo Alto for Tony and Kate's wedding, to read ont he plane and because it had been a long time since I'd read any. The guy sitting in the window seat on my aisle in the plane stepped on my bad when getting to his seat and bent / tore part of the spine on one of them. I didn't realize this until I was halfway through
And love without a dream, it will not survive.
reading it, but when I did discover it, it bugged the hell outta me so much I couldn't enjoy reading the last half of it. I sincerely doubt the status of the spine of this manga will significantly impact my life in the long run. Too damn petty.
Reading my newly acquired manga
Let me in to see you in the morning light.
also reminded me of how much I miss drawing. Just seeing the dynamism, and emotions portrayed in the character's faces through each pane reminds me of what I love about drawing. That ability to dump my emotions onto something tangible, something existent in the world
Wish I could be every little thing you wanted over time.
and even if noone else in the world understand it, I do. Better yet, I hope they fully understand it, irrelevant of whether they understand it the way I did. Oh yeah, if you wanted to IM, call or email me with an "I told you so", or "I can't believe you got another bike," etc about my wreck, just go ahead and speak your mind now, talk to your computer screen, get it out of your system, and don't include me. Thank you.
Kim's starting law school tomorrow, about 96 miles north of where I live. Suck. Sher's not too excited about the whole thing right now, primarily because of the rumors of insanity. I hope she enjoys it, or at least doesn't regret
She's only yours tonight, oh she never cries. And I know there's pain inside.
it a few years from now. Still, I miss having her in town. Although I've been at work so much (and working while at home) that may be irrelevant. I've kinda kicking my ass right now. I'm excited to do what I'm doing, but it's not easy. My primary fault is that I want to do everything we're doing right, and in our time frame, it's not always possible. The worst part is that although it's kicking my butt, I want more responsibilities. I enjoy having an impact on the game, and I really feel like
... turn your tray tables and seat backs to their full and upright positions.
I think I really miss having a creative ourlet. I even picked up my guitar back up last week and noodled around for the evening. Man, did my fingers hurt, but it sure felt good to head. I also discovered that my acoustic musings (randomly plucking strings and chords here and there) put Vincent to sleep. He actually passed out sitting upright on my shoes while I played, go figure. At least he seems to have stopped waking me up at 4 in the morning. For now.
For those of you that have
Welcome to Austin ladies and gentlemen, it will take a few minutes for the captain ...
known me for some time, you know that I don't remember my dreams, but I dream vivid ones. I also haven't had nightmares since I was a little kid. But recently my dreams have been odd - incredibly vivid, and a few times quite frightening. So vivid that I have to look around and convince myself that the stuff in the dream
*DING*
didn't actually happen. It's just odd. Maybe it's because I'm finally starting to get sleep (since Vincent lets me) and my body is pissed off.
*meow* *meow* *MEOW* *purrrrrrrr* *puuurrrrrrrrrrr* *meow* *chomp* *chomp* *chomp*
Anyways, chances are if you're reading this, I miss you and would like to hear from you. I'd love it if you emailed, IMed, called or left a message here.
*sigh* anyways, it's later, and I have to to work very soon.
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
