What is it that keeps you in your current day to day routine? Or the city you live in? Or the friends you keep?

I would hope the answer to that is "the fact that I absolutely love what I'm doing / where I am / the people I'm with". If not, are you working towards breaking those routines? If not, why not?

I'm not sure if it's seeing a new place, or being in a new work environment or just visiting with family, but every once in a while something pulls me back from my current situation to really reevaluate.

Actually, even stepping back a bit, I think it's when I really find something that I want. My default reaction is almost always, "Do I really need this? Can I live without it?" and 90% of the time the answer is that it's unnecessary and I do without it. (Now trust me, I have my share of impulsive / emotional / just-because-I-want-it decisions as well).

The problem comes up when I come across those things that I really do want, or those things where I say, "Why wouldn't I go after this?" It's those kinds of things that tend to rock the boat a little more.

This, of course, is all in reference to a recent trip out to Cali (one that's still going on, as I sit here on the San Francisco Pier), an area that is absolutely gorgeous day to day. On top of that, I had a chance to spend time with cousin and his daughters, another reminder of things I want someday.

A week passes before I get back to finishing this.

Nothing particularly introspective and wonderful here, just a little musing. I've found myself more and more existential as time passes. Even with this most recent weekend in Brownsville with friends, I find more situations that are desires - places, things, situations I want to find myself in. Really, with the amount of spectacular things in the world that you could be spending effort / attention on, it's amazing that anyone with a variety of ambition finds focus.

Most interesting is how you respond to those desires. Of course the purely logical approach (I'm an engineer, remember?) is to spend every waking moment working towards those goals, right? Even that can be / is destructive it its own right, because we need moments of calm, moments away from progression. Biologically, we are creatives that need sleep between our hours of moving forward. The question is the balance? I haven't quite found it yet, but it's something that always seems to be on my mind.

Posted at a later time, after I found an internet connection ;)

No comments: