Amazing.
9/25/2008
Perspective
It's an interesting thing, perspective - something you've always got, but in a constant state of change. My perspective on a lot of things has changed pretty rapidly in the last few years - coming to realizations about my upbringing, my attitudes and my passions.
I remember growing up as a child in a cozy little house with loving parents - I have memories of a home that I loved - a room all my own that I got to spend my whole childhood in, a solid group of friends without a constant change of scenery. I remember my dad telling me, "We have the money to get anything you want, but you should only get the things you need." I remember working on cars and electronics with him, learning how everything in the world around us worked. I remember going to temple where I learned morals and values from my mother and other family friends, and disagreeing with my parents' strong religious views.
But what we see as a child is so different that an adult in hindsight. I spoke with my parents a few years ago about how much I loved the fact that we stayed in a cozy little house for so long without moving around all the time, only to hear, "Honey, we did that because we couldn't afford to move." Realizing that the computer my dad bought when I was just old enough to reach a keyboard was a huge investment for them, but important that my sister and I were aware of the cutting edge. Learning that while I got the passion to learn how things work from my dad, I also got the desire to be as independent as possible. To never pay someone else for a job you could do yourself. Something he did because he was forced into, while oftentimes, I'm not. Understandting that my parents and I are have always been on more similar pages on religion than I ever thought, focusing on being a good person and less on the specific path there. They just picked a religion to get those ideals across and related me pulling away from parts as a pulling away from those ideals, which coudln't be farther from the truth.
We are certainly nothing if not the sum of our experiences. One thing I guess I didn't realize before though is how much those same experinces can remold the person that you are as you see them from a different angle. The real difficulty, I think, comes in how malleable, how willing you are to let those experiences change you into becoming something new.
I remember growing up as a child in a cozy little house with loving parents - I have memories of a home that I loved - a room all my own that I got to spend my whole childhood in, a solid group of friends without a constant change of scenery. I remember my dad telling me, "We have the money to get anything you want, but you should only get the things you need." I remember working on cars and electronics with him, learning how everything in the world around us worked. I remember going to temple where I learned morals and values from my mother and other family friends, and disagreeing with my parents' strong religious views.
But what we see as a child is so different that an adult in hindsight. I spoke with my parents a few years ago about how much I loved the fact that we stayed in a cozy little house for so long without moving around all the time, only to hear, "Honey, we did that because we couldn't afford to move." Realizing that the computer my dad bought when I was just old enough to reach a keyboard was a huge investment for them, but important that my sister and I were aware of the cutting edge. Learning that while I got the passion to learn how things work from my dad, I also got the desire to be as independent as possible. To never pay someone else for a job you could do yourself. Something he did because he was forced into, while oftentimes, I'm not. Understandting that my parents and I are have always been on more similar pages on religion than I ever thought, focusing on being a good person and less on the specific path there. They just picked a religion to get those ideals across and related me pulling away from parts as a pulling away from those ideals, which coudln't be farther from the truth.
We are certainly nothing if not the sum of our experiences. One thing I guess I didn't realize before though is how much those same experinces can remold the person that you are as you see them from a different angle. The real difficulty, I think, comes in how malleable, how willing you are to let those experiences change you into becoming something new.
9/19/2008
Yarrrr!
Yarrrr there matey's! It be national talk like a pirate day! So avast ye scallywags and shiver ye timbers and go out and share some grog with yer mates!
Fer ya single lads and lasses, 'eres some help on yer quest fer booty!
Fer ya single lads and lasses, 'eres some help on yer quest fer booty!
9/18/2008
lol!
Ha! I found it! For anyone who doesn't understand the title of my last post, it looks like someone (fairly recently) finally posted it on youtube. I've been looking for this for ages. hehehe
I fear change, and will keep my bushes.
Change is certainly a tricky little bastard. It's probably the only thing that we widely accept will always be around, and yet it seems to sneak up behind you with a swift kick in the ass when you least expect it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I've had these whirlwinds of event happen to me before, but I think this one takes the cake. Specifically, in the last month, I've lost my girlfriend, my two roommates, my parents (in a manner of speaking, they're moving out of the country), and my job.
No need to panic, that last comment was purely for melodramatic effect. I actually find the summation of it all so ricidulous in its timing I can't help but laugh when I recount it.
It has, however, put me into quite a self-reflective state, trying to take this "life reset" of sorts to heart. I think my friend put it best - "It's like your fresh out of college again, and can go do anything." Asking what you should be asking yourself all along the way: What is it that you want to do with your life?
With the job situation, we were left with a pretty slick severance package thanks to the effort of the management of the studio, which opened a good many opportunities for people. Left and right, coworkers and friends around me dive headfirst into risk and oppurtunity. Following their dreams, be it ambitions of money, of that one game they've always wanted to make, of spending time with their families, or of travelling the world around us.
So I sit down to think about what it is that I want to do given the chance for a fresh start, which of the numerous dreams and ambitions I've had in the past to follow?
...
And nothing happens. Nothing. Have I really become so entrenched in this day-to-day world that I've made for myself that's so far away from where I actually feel like myself that I can't even figure out what drives me anymore?
What's number one? Is it to make the "great american video game"? Is it to lead people to do so? Is it to be led and learn? Is it to be my own businessman? Is it to take the steps to start a family? Is it to start a karate school? Is it to go back to school? Is it to absorb all the knowledge I'm curious of? Is it to become a professor? Is it to do everything I can to help those I care about? Is it to get the heck out of Dallas? Is it to get the heck out of this country and see what the rest of the world is? Is it to reconnect with my culture?
So many questions, and nothing pulling in any direction. One of my largest personality flaws is that I often take the path of least resistance, and there is one available, to work with some amazing talent with a simply ubelievable professional opportunity at a start up in Dallas. I can't make that decision because its the easy one. If I decide to go there, it needs to be my passion that pushes me there. The clock is ticking there.
I have no idea where this is going to take me or how I'll get there. The only thing I'm sure of is that this is the chance to start over, a rebirth in many ways, and I need to treat it like that, no matter what I do.
Now, don't get me wrong, I've had these whirlwinds of event happen to me before, but I think this one takes the cake. Specifically, in the last month, I've lost my girlfriend, my two roommates, my parents (in a manner of speaking, they're moving out of the country), and my job.
No need to panic, that last comment was purely for melodramatic effect. I actually find the summation of it all so ricidulous in its timing I can't help but laugh when I recount it.
It has, however, put me into quite a self-reflective state, trying to take this "life reset" of sorts to heart. I think my friend put it best - "It's like your fresh out of college again, and can go do anything." Asking what you should be asking yourself all along the way: What is it that you want to do with your life?
With the job situation, we were left with a pretty slick severance package thanks to the effort of the management of the studio, which opened a good many opportunities for people. Left and right, coworkers and friends around me dive headfirst into risk and oppurtunity. Following their dreams, be it ambitions of money, of that one game they've always wanted to make, of spending time with their families, or of travelling the world around us.
So I sit down to think about what it is that I want to do given the chance for a fresh start, which of the numerous dreams and ambitions I've had in the past to follow?
...
And nothing happens. Nothing. Have I really become so entrenched in this day-to-day world that I've made for myself that's so far away from where I actually feel like myself that I can't even figure out what drives me anymore?
What's number one? Is it to make the "great american video game"? Is it to lead people to do so? Is it to be led and learn? Is it to be my own businessman? Is it to take the steps to start a family? Is it to start a karate school? Is it to go back to school? Is it to absorb all the knowledge I'm curious of? Is it to become a professor? Is it to do everything I can to help those I care about? Is it to get the heck out of Dallas? Is it to get the heck out of this country and see what the rest of the world is? Is it to reconnect with my culture?
So many questions, and nothing pulling in any direction. One of my largest personality flaws is that I often take the path of least resistance, and there is one available, to work with some amazing talent with a simply ubelievable professional opportunity at a start up in Dallas. I can't make that decision because its the easy one. If I decide to go there, it needs to be my passion that pushes me there. The clock is ticking there.
I have no idea where this is going to take me or how I'll get there. The only thing I'm sure of is that this is the chance to start over, a rebirth in many ways, and I need to treat it like that, no matter what I do.
8/01/2008
Dream car
Do you have a dream car? I do. It's a commemorative edition LeMans blue C5 Chevy Corvette, and it might be the most beautiful piece of machinery man has ever created. And whats worse is that fate seems to be taunting me with it, since it would appear that I've seen these (somewhat rare because of the color and the fact that the C6 has alreayd come out) on multiple occassions - twice today! On the drive to / from work.
So pretty. Maybe one day - for now, I'm quite happy with my vehicular combo at the moment: the Firebird, the Thundercat, and the Mustang. Now if only I had the time to give them the care they (and many, many others things in my life deserve)...
One long day
Have you ever woke up, got ready, hopped in the car and heard the exact same song playing on the radio as the one from the night before? It's a bizarre little feeling. Yesterday it was that crazy song by the new song by the Pussycat Dolls, When I Grow Up. Needless to say when your brain is a pile of tappioca from crunching for two weeks, a little bit of high pitched pop about rock starlets that wanted to grow up to be rock starlets is not the way I would choose to start my day. It made it feel like one continuous, 48 hour workfest. But, it's Friday, and only good can come of that - hooray weekend! :)
7/30/2008
*Crunch crunch crunch*
Just crunching along over here, and in the far-too-long breaks between compiles, the chair-sword-fights just get old after a while.
Would be pretty awesome if that actually happened. Instead, I usually write on this thing or poke around on the internet. Which, is where I found the current distraction: GamesRadar.
As proof, check out this post about Japanese box art vs. US box art. Warning: may only be funny if you've played all these games.
Alright, back to crunch. :D
Would be pretty awesome if that actually happened. Instead, I usually write on this thing or poke around on the internet. Which, is where I found the current distraction: GamesRadar.
As proof, check out this post about Japanese box art vs. US box art. Warning: may only be funny if you've played all these games.
Alright, back to crunch. :D
7/26/2008
Lake weekend between crunch...
Well, there's been lots and lots of crunch recently, so all the breaks that come up are good ones. Needless to say, the chance to go out to my friend's lake house and relax for the weekend was not something I was going to turn down. Friends, fajitas, margaritas, and a lake - what more could you ask for?
Incidentally, I finally caved and bought an N810 internet tablet, and am mobile blogging this very moment on the drive back, since Lee was sweet enough to drive back. So here's hoping for a relaxing weekend and more posts - happy weekend everybody! :)
7/25/2008
Want to know where I disappeared to?
This is why - if you weren't excited about Halo Wars - maybe this will help :)
7/14
G4: Halo Wars Hands On - http://e3.g4tv.com/e32008/videos/26921/Hands_On_Halo_Wars.html
5 Star Rating!
"Relax, relax, it’s still Halo"
"When can fans start sleeping outside their local BestBuys?"
"Relax, relax, it’s still Halo"
"When can fans start sleeping outside their local BestBuys?"
7/15
IGN E3 2008: Halo Wars Hands-on - http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/890/890357p1.html
1Up Halo Wars Impressions - http://www.1up.com/do/previewPage?cId=3168721
"...Ensemble has achieved what many thought was impossible - it has created an action-packed real-time strategy game that stays true to the Halo universe..."
"...more importantly it's made a game looks capable of hooking in shooter fans and armchair tacticians alike."
"The streamlined controls mean it's a game that very easy to pick up and play..."
"We only wish we had more time with the game, because our brief taster has left us wanting more."
"...more importantly it's made a game looks capable of hooking in shooter fans and armchair tacticians alike."
"The streamlined controls mean it's a game that very easy to pick up and play..."
"We only wish we had more time with the game, because our brief taster has left us wanting more."
1Up Halo Wars Impressions - http://www.1up.com/do/previewPage?cId=3168721
"These special attacks give an extra slice of "Halo-ness" to the game."
"..seeing a MAC blast tear into a Covenant Scarab, or a carpet bomb lighting up all the Grunts on the ground, or seeing Marines take over a Covenant sniper tower, all give Halo Wars an extra bit of "oomph.""
"That marriage of Halo flair plus solid Ensemble RTS gameplay makes me a lot more hopeful for the game -- and also a bit annoyed that it's officially slipped to early next year."
"..seeing a MAC blast tear into a Covenant Scarab, or a carpet bomb lighting up all the Grunts on the ground, or seeing Marines take over a Covenant sniper tower, all give Halo Wars an extra bit of "oomph.""
"That marriage of Halo flair plus solid Ensemble RTS gameplay makes me a lot more hopeful for the game -- and also a bit annoyed that it's officially slipped to early next year."
7/16
Kombo Hands On - http://360.kombo.com/article.php?artid=13556
GameSpot Halo Wars Co-Op Hands On - http://e3.gamespot.com/story.html?sid=6194187
"After playing Tom Clancy's EndWar, it's hard to get excited about controller-based RTS controls, but to Ensemble's credit, they've crafted a scheme that is clearly superior to the various clunky solutions currently available from EA and others."
"Halo Wars surprised the hell out of us. A title we weren't expecting much from, the sad little RTS banking on the Halo brand to sell, is now back square in the middle of our radar."
"Halo Wars surprised the hell out of us. A title we weren't expecting much from, the sad little RTS banking on the Halo brand to sell, is now back square in the middle of our radar."
GameSpot Halo Wars Co-Op Hands On - http://e3.gamespot.com/story.html?sid=6194187
"Controlling your units in Halo Wars is a cinch. You move the cursor with the left analog stick and select individual units with the A button."
"...the development team have done an amazing job of capturing the look of the Bungie series."
"As well as creating a brand-new engine and control system for the game, they had to capture the distinctive look of the source material--no mean feat given the complete change of perspective."
"...the development team have done an amazing job of capturing the look of the Bungie series."
"As well as creating a brand-new engine and control system for the game, they had to capture the distinctive look of the source material--no mean feat given the complete change of perspective."
7/17
Joystiq E3 hands-on: Halo Wars - http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/17/joystiq-e3-hands-on-halo-wars-xbox-360/
GameVideos - Dave Pottinger Walkthrough - http://www.gamevideos.com/video/id/20150
GameSpy Halo Wars - http://xbox360.gamespy.com/xbox-360/halo-wars/891470p1.html
Game Informer - http://www.gameinformer.com/News/Story/200807/N08.0716.1459.01666.htm
Gamasutra - http://www.gamasutra.com/php-bin/news_index.php?story=19465
ShackNews - http://www.shacknews.com/featuredarticle.x?id=935
"The easiest way to describe Halo Wars to a gamer would be to say it is to RTS games what Civilization Revolution is to Civilization. It's not RTS lite, but just RTS different."
"A judgment on the game is going to require giving the title a chance and seeing how it shakes what Ensemble gave it over many hours. It could introduce a new form of RTS we haven't seen yet."
"A judgment on the game is going to require giving the title a chance and seeing how it shakes what Ensemble gave it over many hours. It could introduce a new form of RTS we haven't seen yet."
GameVideos - Dave Pottinger Walkthrough - http://www.gamevideos.com/video/id/20150
Dave P. "We want those choices in the game, giving that map investment in the game is huge for a strategy game."
GameSpy Halo Wars - http://xbox360.gamespy.com/xbox-360/halo-wars/891470p1.html
"Ensemble has done a great job bringing the brightly colored, almost neon sensibilities of the Halo world to life in a god's-eye perspective."
"The upshot of all this is that Halo Wars felt good to play during our limited time with it."
"The upshot of all this is that Halo Wars felt good to play during our limited time with it."
Game Informer - http://www.gameinformer.com/News/Story/200807/N08.0716.1459.01666.htm
"Just because Microsoft didn’t talk about it at their press conference doesn’t mean that Halo Wars isn’t worth mentioning. We just got back from some hands-on time with it, and it looks as though the folks at Ensemble Studios have found a solid way to incorporate RTS gameplay with a standard 360 controller."
"Rather than forcing players to memorize arcane button combinations to group units and select those group, Ensemble has instead made it simpler to do it on the fly."
"Rather than forcing players to memorize arcane button combinations to group units and select those group, Ensemble has instead made it simpler to do it on the fly."
Gamasutra - http://www.gamasutra.com/php-bin/news_index.php?story=19465
"The Ensemble Studios team spent six months fine-tuning Halo Wars' potential control setup before approaching Microsoft and Bungie about developing the project, according to previous press reports."
ShackNews - http://www.shacknews.com/featuredarticle.x?id=935
"As was the case with last year's showing, I came away impressed by Halo Wars. It certainly seems to be coming along well, but my experience has been quite limited thus far."
"What I've seen and played has been good, and I'm looking forward to more."
"What I've seen and played has been good, and I'm looking forward to more."
7/18
PC World Previews Halo Wars - http://www.pcworld.idg.com.au/index.php?id=1903314381
XBOX 360 Fan Boy Hands on with Halo Wars - http://www.xbox360fanboy.com/2008/07/17/e308-hands-on-with-halo-wars/
Thunderbolt E3: 2008 HaloWars - http://www.thunderboltgames.com/previews/article/halo-wars-e3-preview-preview-for-xbox360.html
Game Daily Halo Wars on Xbox - http://www.gamedaily.com/games/halo-wars/xbox-360/game-features/impressions-halo-wars/
"Why there was no mention of Halo Wars at the MS press briefing is beyond me, and in fact, we at GamePro think someone dropped the ball."
"I really enjoyed the time I spent with the game despite not being much of an RTS gamer."
"I really enjoyed the time I spent with the game despite not being much of an RTS gamer."
XBOX 360 Fan Boy Hands on with Halo Wars - http://www.xbox360fanboy.com/2008/07/17/e308-hands-on-with-halo-wars/
"So, Ensemble set out to build an RTS title for the Xbox 360 from the ground up, a game designed to work with a controller and work. Did Ensemble do it? Based on my time with the E3 demo, I'm inclined to say yes."
"As a game that promises to reinvent the console RTS, and as a Halo title, Halo Wars has a lot to live up to."
"...I can tell you one thing: now that I've played Halo Wars, the 2009 release feels very far away."
"As a game that promises to reinvent the console RTS, and as a Halo title, Halo Wars has a lot to live up to."
"...I can tell you one thing: now that I've played Halo Wars, the 2009 release feels very far away."
Thunderbolt E3: 2008 HaloWars - http://www.thunderboltgames.com/previews/article/halo-wars-e3-preview-preview-for-xbox360.html
"One of the biggest games this holiday season is going to be Halo Wars."
"Halo Wars definitely seems like another great entry into the already solid Halo universe."
"Halo Wars definitely seems like another great entry into the already solid Halo universe."
Game Daily Halo Wars on Xbox - http://www.gamedaily.com/games/halo-wars/xbox-360/game-features/impressions-halo-wars/
"...Ensemble Studios (makers of the Age of Empire series) took Bungie's celebrated FPS and produced an original and immensely entertaining experience..."
"...it'll be one of the year's coolest games."
"...it'll be one of the year's coolest games."
Post E3
GameSpy Halo Wars / Halo Universe Live Blog - http://xbox360.gamespy.com/xbox-360/halo-wars/893524p1.html?RSSwhen2008-07-24_140400&RSSid=893524
Kotaku Halo Wars is in Control - http://kotaku.com/5027722/halo-wars-is-in-control
GameSpot Halo Wars Stage Show Demo and Gameplay Movies - http://www.gamespot.com/video/935835/6194686/videoplayerpop?
GameSpot Halo Wars Co-Op - http://www.gamespot.com/xbox360/strategy/halowars/news.html?sid=6194187&mode=previews
Evil Avatar - http://www.evilavatar.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58033
Game Trailers Interview with David Pottinger - http://www.gametrailers.com/player/37498.html
Kotaku Halo Wars is in Control - http://kotaku.com/5027722/halo-wars-is-in-control
"Keep your eye on Halo Wars, even if you're not a fan of the franchise or traditionally an RTS fan. It looks and feels like a console strategy game should."
GameSpot Halo Wars Stage Show Demo and Gameplay Movies - http://www.gamespot.com/video/935835/6194686/videoplayerpop?
GameSpot Halo Wars Co-Op - http://www.gamespot.com/xbox360/strategy/halowars/news.html?sid=6194187&mode=previews
"...the development team have done an amazing job of capturing the look of the Bungie series. As well as creating a brand-new engine and control system for the game, they had to capture the distinctive look of the source material--no mean feat given the complete change of perspective. Thankfully though, the game is not only technically impressive, but it really succeeds in immersing you in the world that you've come to love."
Evil Avatar - http://www.evilavatar.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58033
"The controls work. There, I said it. No, wait...the controls REALLY work."
Game Trailers Interview with David Pottinger - http://www.gametrailers.com/player/37498.html
Awards
ActionTrip - Halo Wars Best Strategy Game - http://www.actiontrip.com/features/e32008showawardsandwrapup.phtml
Planet Xbox - Best Strategy Game - http://www.planetxbox360.com/article_4305/PlanetXbox360s_Best_of_E3_2008_Awards
Gaming Excellence - Best Strategy Game - http://www.gamingexcellence.com/xbox360/games/1336/p20080720.shtml
G4 TV - Best Xbox 360 game - Nomination - http://e3.g4tv.com/e32008/blog/post/687264/XPlays_Best_Of_E3_Awards_Tonight.html/
GamePro Best of E3- Silver - http://www.gamepro.com/gamepro/international/games/features/205615.shtml
"Very nice indeed. The developers have improved things drastically since the last time we saw it. Ensemble Studios succeeded in conveying that familiar spirit of the Halo universe. It has the potential to become a great real-time strategy and they obviously made a huge effort to fine-tune the game for console owners."
Planet Xbox - Best Strategy Game - http://www.planetxbox360.com/article_4305/PlanetXbox360s_Best_of_E3_2008_Awards
"Having some of the simplest controls for any RTS on the consoles, Halo Wars is user-friendly and should have Halo fanatics excited when they have the ability to have a handful of Spartans on the field defeating Covenant troops."
Gaming Excellence - Best Strategy Game - http://www.gamingexcellence.com/xbox360/games/1336/p20080720.shtml
"Halo Wars is shaping up better than anyone could have expected. It’s looking like a great, yet unexpected addition to the series, and was our choice for best strategy game of E3 ’08."
G4 TV - Best Xbox 360 game - Nomination - http://e3.g4tv.com/e32008/blog/post/687264/XPlays_Best_Of_E3_Awards_Tonight.html/
GamePro Best of E3- Silver - http://www.gamepro.com/gamepro/international/games/features/205615.shtml
"Halo Wars was looking sharp at E3 2008. The new demo version included the first implementation of the new Spartans supersoldiers, who can kick ass with the best of them (and even take over enemy vehicles). The controls are simple - crucial for a console strategy game - and the graphical polish is looking better and better. Can Halo Wars overcome the console RTS curse? The evidence is promising."
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